...then where is the ambassador?

Haggis...

Some malignant news of an obit to a dear and unnecessarily departed hero almost rocked me back into my car and into Melton Lake last night, but thankfully, countless familiar faces insisted on hugging me right back into the room. Humble gratitude.

Last night was whirlwindy. It was great and weird and wonderful to see everyone. I was overwhelmed. I had a great time.

I'm glad I'm going to get to see all of you when I get back on NYE-E.

'Course, that doesn't include Nick, who's NYing on NYE, and I was sorry we couldn't catch up last night after Erin's. After the few days I'd had, I was bone tired. Plus I forgot to take this oft repeated and oft consternatin' steroids, what makes it possible for me to hear all of you again. Nick, I hope we get to catch up before you Orient yourself.

Merry Christmas, all, and that includes Jef's lasagna.

It's Hard to Bargle Nargle Zouse when You'll Never Sleep Again...

From the place I have been, I warn you not to go. I have seen purgatory, and now when I meet people I can tell them what it's like. Holly had been to HELL for a day or two. I just had to sit through an hour of it (in purgatory, time has no meaning). I don't know what Orphic hero pulled her from the gurgle-pit of the damned last week, but I can only imagine he had a very shiny dome.

Last week, as many of you may have heard, Holly had to assist the editing of the new W eird Al show. Now, I must tell you without reservation, that like the rest of you, and like Holly, I grew up on Eat It and everything else. So, when she told me she wanted to gouge her eyes out with a spoon (dull, hurt more) I couldn't possibly imagine it was as bad as she was saying. Perhaps it was just the repetition? Either way, I had no choice but to trust her, because, well, it didn't sound like hyperbole, even in her case.

Last night, as I put down my book and curled into bed, I turned on the teevee, and stumbled onto VH1 (something that never JUST happens). There it was. I was confused. This was a W eird Al show, but I thought the new one didn't air until the New Year.

Two minutes later I was smack in the middle of the Jessica Simpson interview she'd described to me. Folks, his show is a disgusting, juvenile nightmare. I don't get the impression that it could get much better from there.

I was taking it up until the 15 minute K-Fed interview. It goes on. And on. By the end of it, my life was a dark hallway of pain, for real this time, and I was play-crying. The play part of that could be wishful thinking.

The hurting hasn't stopped. If you get a chance, catch the program long enough to confirm that we're not exaggerating, and take a look at Holly's font on the music videos, because she did them all. It was a really cool thing to see the first thing she's worked on for broadcast TV, and something about the horror of the show itself makes for a poignant, if terrifying, innauguration for her into the world of Crazy-Ass Hollywood. And dont' forget, as you're watching his show, she watched all of this for two straight days. It can only get better from there.

Making Feet for Children's Shoes

Now, to kick it off, a year-end retrospective, allowing for the fact that I've been remiss vis. seeing new films. Actually, the remarkable thing about 2006 was its slew of high-quality musical releases.

I wasn't alone in my analysis of that plain fact (this year ends with Eragon, The Good German/Shepard and The Fountain notwithstanding; oh, and apparently Little Miss Sunshine) but more on that later.

For now, the musical highlights, and being that it was such a banner year, I'm going to have no choice but to leave a lot out. This'll be in no particular order:

This one left me cold on the first several listens. What's with the distracting references to Britney Spears and George Bush? The Flaming Lips never struck me as a topical band of any kind. The music seemed all over the place, almost to the point of bearing little resemblance to the splendour of past Lips releases. Then a funny thing happened. After about a month of owning it, I discovered that it was indispensible. The topicality faded into the background, and the overwhelming force of their positivism took over. It's an angry piece of "space-age protest music" alright, but it still embodies every theme that sets apart this band: Perseverence, saving the world, and psychedelia. When Wayne Coyne argues that only a fool believes that we're different from the birds in the sky, you can't deny him his rock-philosopher king status. The Flaming Lips are ingenious storytellers, and if this album falls short of their past glories (quite a task not to fall short of), one can certainly stand back and revel in its new ones.

Lostep - Because We Can

This is about as no-holds-barred as the breaks scene has gotten in awhile, at least while retaining such vital musicality. This album rings loud and true as the ambassadorship from Australia to the entire breaks world. Australia is where it's at, and Lostep (Luke Chable and Phil K) create such a various and peopled landscape of rhythm, melody and cadence that you could easily believe you're experiencing dance music for the first time. This is going to be one of the most influential dance albums for many, many years. It's like hearing Hybrid or BT for the first time, only Uberzone came over to put peyote in the Kool-Aid, only, wait a second, it's not like any of those groups at all, because it's fuckin' Lostep, and nobody but Lostep sounds quite like this. The first half of the album is ambient, midtempo quirkiness, and the last half is dance music with as equally quirky a brain, foot and soul. Get this one. I cannot stress this enough.

From 2005, I got into this one this year, and I'm only going to say this: It's the damned Ulysses of indie-rock. Seriously. Had it for a year. On track 5, so far. It's really, really pretty, and well worth the ambition. 2006 saw a release of, I think, two discs of B-sides from this album alone, which in my mind warrants its mention here. Also, get on it Sufie. You're barely through the midwest, and you've got NE and the South before you make it to the Southwest. Hurry up. Lazy fuck.

For those of you who would completely dismiss this band (and their mopiness makes that totally understandable), a healthy introduction to them could well be this one, though it won't make you any more a fan of the old stuff. It's light, funny, danceable(!) and charming, and yes, the songs are all school-girl pop, as always, but somehow the lyrics work as a looser abstraction than that. This album is subtly infectious, and brilliantly dramatic in its compositions. A triumph for fans and non-fans. You won't hate me for selling you the "sad-sack" music. It's not anymore.

Tipper - Relish the Trough

Dirtiest breaks album ever. Also, more brilliantly produced than any breaks album you've ever heard. Seriously, if scorpions liked music, this would be their pick. Live free. Break well.

BT - This Binary Universe

Now this is emotional technology. After his pandering 2003 release, BT returns in full, wondrous form with a work that is destined to mark his turning point from the dance music ghetto to the equally ghettoized arena of modern classical composer-hood. If the response to his recent tour amongst lay-BT fans (crying over a lack of Dreamings or Mercury and Solaces) is any indication, new club album notwithstanding, this one could be the most alienating piece he's written. This is an album ostensibly composed as a series of lullabies for his daughter and the result is a lush, meditative piece (that only becomes apparently daughter-worshipping in its finale) that is overflowing with potential for what's lurking in his head next. BT might well be bursting at the seems to escape his current pigeonholing. He seems to be risking everything on his talent at the moment, so one can only hope that it results in a progression from this progression and not an Emo Tech recidivism on the upcoming clubber.

Honorable mention for the breaks scene must go to Habersham, D Ramirez, The Stanton Warriors, Nubreed, BLIM, Elite Force and Dylan Rhymes.

With that said, I have to say that for the breaks scene, it has been the year of Chris Carter. Between his releases with JHZ (Roxiller) and his abundant output under his own name (Panorama, One Time), he's consistently fresh whilst using most of the same production techniques. He's as durable as they come, and I can't wait for next year.

Having blown all poetical on Chris Carter, I would be crazy to leave out a good Andy Page fellatin'. He's a mad, mad man. He's had his hands all over the breaks scene for awhile, and it's about time he reigned supreme.

I've been told to check out this year's Chili Peppers, Killers, and My Chemical Romance (!!!) releases. That last one stopped me for a second, but your humble narrator has good sources, and he must heed them proper consideration.

The year in movies came down to The Departed, a real teeth-jangler, and Altman's Swann Song, A Prairie Home Companion. We lost Altman and we lost Nykvist. Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. And so it goes.

Deliriously In Search of the Funny

Well. *Cough*

That happened. Six years was a pretty good ride. Most of us have been doing this since long before it was cool. We did it when it was uncool, and then it became uncool again by being cool.

I think we win. Everything is still where it was back there. I won't delete any of it, though I may archive some of the notable posts at this new home and take them down from there, seeing as how Blogspot/Google doesn't hold a copyright on any of the published material.

Otherwise, you'll still be able to go back and read all the hits, including, most recently, a post enumerating the dreaded dangers of UMF, something I will dedicate the use of this blog to fighting diligently, and with great wily-ness.

Before there was Emo, there was The Darkness of the Human Soul and other Funny Shite

I wonder what else will be uncool before it's cool, only to suck again, whilst I retain my dear integrity sodden phiz. Quiet you. I'll post soon with new intentions, abstractions and malformations, but for now, suffice it to say, I switched for convenience's sake. Change is good. Good for the humours. Yeah. Ahem. I'll get used to this soon. I swear.