Johannesburg Slaughter

My problem with E.T., and I think it would be a better film, are those big Walter Keane moonstone eyes, because you immediately love that little creature. There’s a moment in the film when they’re dissecting the frogs and they do a close-up of the frogs with those alien slit eyes. Now if E.T. had those eyes, then he’s a really grotesque ugly thing and the kid has to learn to love a grotesque ugly thing. It’s easy to love E.T. It should have been difficult to love E.T.

- Terry Gilliam

Neill Blomkamp's District 9 is definitely made in that spirit. It's like riding on a thoroughfare that takes you from Hotel Rwanda to Cronenberg. It is unbelievably brutal, or at least its level of violence and grotesquerie surprised me until I thought about the producer, Peter Jackson, and his earlier films.

The creatures are only half-heartedly anthropomorphized, and the nepotist hero goes from nebbish to fighter-boy without much time for a consistent transition between (though his transition is certainly a bodily one). It is overlong, and far too uncompromising to have grossed as much as it has.

And we should all be thankful to Peter Jackson for introducing such a talented new filmmaker to the world. This is simply the best and most riveting science fiction film in years, so long as you have the stomach for it.

A Glimpse Of DragonCon

Germination

Road Warriors

On the way to Cali to steer Holly's worldlies back to the southeastern United Ess of Ay tonight, and my musical itinerary for the duration is:

The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

Chuck - Bucket of Fuckin' D'n'B

Alex Metric BBC Radio one July mix

Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood

Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion

Fake Blood -Fix Your Accent

Gary Numan - The Pleasure Principle

Passion Pit - Manners

David Sedaris - Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim

1776 - David McCullough

Party on, Dudes.

Say Auf Wiedersehen To Your Nazi Review

The problem is that by making the star attraction of his latest film a most delightful Nazi, one whose smooth talk is as lovingly presented as his murderous violence, Mr. Tarantino has polluted that love.

- Manohla Dargis's Review

Yes, because Iago, Humbert Humbert, Anton Chigurh, Cruella Deville, etc., were all presented without comment, so as to justify, respectively, framing a woman for adultery, entering into congress with a twelve year old, murdering everything in sight based on an arbitration, or attempting to skin puppies for a coat.

Film naturally sensationalizes, because, in the hands of a master, all actions become sensational. To quote another film review:

Rear Window is not about Greenwich Village, it is a film about cinema, and I DO know cinema - Francois Truffaut.

So does Tarantino.

Dargis is a moralist, not a film critic.

Ebert For Secretary of Saying Things Better

I was informed that my entry was "typical liberalism." This is correct. I am a liberal. If you are a conservative, this appears to be a difference between us: I think you should have guaranteed health insurance.

Article Here

Oh, 1999, I Love You Most of All

Allow Me To Revert To My Heritage.....

Gotta love Barney.

A Glimpse Into an Alex Metric Show....

Will he come to the states, i.e., not just NY or L.A.?

... and Rice Crispie Treats

Been spinning these monthly events this summer at J.J.'s Bohemia, with a crew goes by Computers & Friends.

While there are those parties wholly satisfied with and only with the metronome, these boyos have fully embraced the broken beat (just in time me hopes for a prime and tasty Halloween mix, the most perfect time of year for the evilist of beats).

I'll try and get some of their sets online here if I can, but for now, I'll come out of internets-mixin'-sabbatical and offer you my June 28th show:

But of course, download here at the Droid-Rock show. Right click, ctrl click, whatever you gotta do.

What, you won't click? Fine, here's a tracklist:

1. Capricorn - 9 Nickel (Kevin Beber & Waveform)
2. Landlines - Shadow Dancer
3. Samo Ti (AC Slater mix) - Fagget Fairys
4. Starter - Boys Noize
5. The Night - Evil Nine
6. Riverside - Sidney Samson
7. A City Under Siege - Boy 8-Bit
8. I Love U (Bart B More mix) - Larry Tee
9. Shirley You Can't Be Serious? - Alex Metric
10. Machine In The Ghost (Djedjotronic mix) - The Faint
11. Shifting Gears (Stanton Warriors mix) - Plump DJs
12. Lovesick (Evil Nine mix) - Friendly Fires

Now That's Some Deejayin'

There are those of you who'd be advised to wait about 4:30 in....

Minute 2:38, Wait for It, aaaand SCENE

(Minute 5:10 ain't bad either. Are Democrats more civilized in their approach to debate? Do you hear screaming and yelling and anger here? This appears to be a group of people in agreement about something, such as with the angry town-hallers. Why is this scene so different?)

This Looks Reliably Batshit

STARRING CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER

Bad Dates

Not Gonna Shy Away From Things That Are Uncomfortable

The message is simple, that your message will not get through. I've been criticized in the past for being too loud at certain points. But am I shouting anyone down? Am I showing up to disrupt debate, or seeking to engage it? I'm not really interested in arguing that point right now, but I am interested in showcasing one of the durable strengths of our president, his parity, his decency, and his willingness to stick to a position while expressing empathy (yes, empathy) for the other side.

We need him to get healthcare and the Afghan/Iraq wars right along with every other nightmare we're currently grappling with. But we also desperately need this voice to cut through the din:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

#DouthatFail

From Ross Douthat's column today:

Don’t laugh. No contemporary figure has done more than Apatow, the 41-year-old auteur of gross-out comedies, to rebrand social conservatism for a younger generation that associates it primarily with priggishness and puritanism. No recent movie has made the case for abortion look as self-evidently awful as “Knocked Up,” Apatow’s 2007 keep-the-baby farce. No movie has made saving — and saving, and saving — your virginity seem as enviable as “The 40-Year Old Virgin,” whose closing segue into connubial bliss played like an infomercial for True Love Waits.

Don't laugh. DON'T LAUGH? How do I not LAUGH at the notion that there's anything enviable about Steve Carrell's character in The 40-Year Old Virgin? Is Douthat saying that social conservatives really think the best way to get through life is to stay trapped with the emotional maturity level of a teenager until further notice? Well, going by the behavior of the Christian Right and arch-conservatives, I wouldn't doubt it. Just watch a video of any of these crashed town-hall meetings. Some folks need to get laid.

As for the notion that Knocked Up (the most incoherent movie Apatow has made) is political in any way, I have a fulmination, based solely on a common misconception pro-lifer's have about anyone who supports abortion rights. Why does the right assume that those of us on this side (for reasons ranging from privacy to women's rights) are all so gung ho about the act of abortion itself? What kind of movie does Ross, et al think Knocked Up would've been if its principals decided to have an abortion instead? It would've had a different title and running time, and would've been based on an Ernest Hemingway short story.

After having seen Funny People this weekend, I can assure you, Apatow's concern is an apolitical one. He improvises his way through plots that render themselves irrelevant by their basic absurdity. He's actually a master at improvisation, which paradoxically forces domestic situations on to wonderful free-form comedy. The first hour and twenty of Funny People is a work of wild, sensitive genius. As for it being conservative on any subconscious level, well, it contains the line (SPOILER): "I want you to wear glasses above your asshole so when I'm fucking you in the ass it looks like you're blowing me."

You decide.

Make Sure It's A Cartoon

This is sad news, particularly considering last summer. Recession cinema is truly the dregs. I wonder if people are able to register much beyond the fact that light and sound are constantly fluctuating around them in the theater.

Between T4, Transformers, G.I. Joe, and the squirrels and the guinea pigs, where are the real movies?

Well:

Up
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Star Trek
Funny People
Bruno (yes, because it's fucking funny)

Sadly, I missed Public Enemies. Will be seeing The Hurt Locker this week.

Last summer I had a better list, even as most critics, by July, were yakking that 2008 was a terrible year for movies. If only they could've seen the summer of 2009.

For The End

The End FTWWW

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
William Jefferson Airplane
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Spinal Tap Performance

Actual content, written by me, is coming very soon, promise, now scroll to about six minutes into this video.

Don't Worry, Be Happy (I WILL CONTROL YOUR NEURONS)

Librul Medea

The sad truth is that what Olbermann and O'Reilly were doing in this particular instance was one of the rare examples of good journalism on these types of shows. Olbermann was holding O'Reilly's feet to the fire about his repeated falsehoods and embarrassing positions. In turn, O'Reilly was giving the public accurate and disturbing information about General Electric, including extensive technology dealings with Iran. (italics his) In my personal opinion, this was one of the rare useful pieces of information O'Reilly ever presented to his audience, and Olbermann was there to show how lousy the rest of O'Reilly's information was. Though it was in the context of a bitter feud, the two men were actually engaging in real journalism, at least in this case.

This is well worth the read.

I make no apologies for my support of Keith Olbermann in his crusade against O'Reilly and Fox News. I am unimpressed by the whole "he's just a liberal such and such angry commentator, no better than the rest of 'em" argument. I've never heard any such criticism coupled with any real dissection or analysis of any specific point Olbermann has made. Too much work, I guess.

It's certainly true that KO gets ridiculously silly sometimes, and I don't watch all the time, mostly because I don't need a reminder that Rush Limbaugh is a cocksmack. But Fox spews, on a daily and nightly basis, right-wing invective and hate-speech, and Olbermann was doing the right thing in propping up a counter-balance of sanity. I sincerely hope he can continue.

OKAY.

ZOOM

Congressman, Nice Try

Chris Matthews is so, so hilarious:



More here.

Huzzah Jef!

He's rocking a new blog, on subjects firmly embedded in my cerebellum. Na Zdravi.


(Also, I liked Rules of the Game, but most certainly did not understand it. I give mad props for it prefiguring Gosford Park)

TeeHee

I'm on a BOAT (Flyer)



Facebook yo' self here.

Main event page here.

If You Missed This The Other Night....

....it's pretty funny:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Drag Me to Health - Universal Health Care
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

Asa Nisi Awesome

Can't wait:



(From now on, I guess I either have to switch blogs, learn to code these myself, or just use Trailer Addict, since Youtube clips are getting cropped on the side?)

Fuck Chuck Norris

So, this lost me a Twitter follower the other day. Hold on, I'm not cryin' about that, in and of itself. I tweat to get ideas out there when I can, but I'm generally happy to be following people and not terribly concerned about who's following me (who am I kidding? LOVE. ME.)

What upsets me is the lack of principle on which I was un-followed. The person in question and I have been having this fight for awhile, their position being something akin to "people use political arguments simply to hate each other, and we shouldn't be negative to one another". Yes, and one day we'll all just ride ponies into paradise. Whatever. The argument in question this time applies to more than just my little squabble with a friend.

For those of you who don't know, Chuck Norris posted this last year on Townhall. It more or less calls for "sexual deviants", i.e., gays and lesbians, to be castrated. It's unspeakably vicious right-wing invective. This guy campaigned for Huckabee. If he had made those comments about any other minority group, he wouldn't be allowed within 500 yards of any political campaign. His career would be over. Ask Michael Richards how he's doing lately.

It's a dreary example of our generation's basic un-seriousness that we all know the tired internet meme based on Chuck Norris, but we don't know that he's actually a bigot. Here we have a cultural icon getting away with the most despicable and unacceptable homophobia, but I'm getting un-followed when I break the news to certain people, presumably because an internet fad that got tired in 2004 is more important than gay rights?

Sad. Besides, aside from all that, what exactly is it that Chuck Norris represents culturally? Of course, he manifests the classic American canard that violence solves problems.

To my mind, those jokes will only be funny to you now if after reading this you actively repress the things you've just found out.

So Happy Right Now

Yes, Please.

Ultimate Franchise

By ultimate, I really wish I meant last.

Michael Bay, however, will not grant us that mercy, not with these numbers. Which means we'll get the same movie again in a couple of years. Actually, it's two movies in one. One movie involves the sub-human inanity of the human characters, their respective dog/robot-humpings, hyper-unrealistic relationships and inhuman experiences (perhaps the next film will feature a Graduate school where the professors are all hot thirty-something babes, inspiring the Beouf to just pluckspaz right out to even greater heights of performance art, completely and totally, until he implodes?)

The other movie on display here is a thoroughly appalling, unexpectedly racist, loud, and completely baffling army ad, featuring giant robots (which transform into vehicles made comical by their own recession-based obsolescence). For all Michael Bay's right-wing war-porn, this is a pretty lame recruitment tool. Just because the dragon fight at the volcano wasn't a successful marketing strategy doesn't mean that Transformers and better special effects will work.

The movie is so sloppy I'd be hard pressed to be offended that Obama has been whisked away to a secret bunker (I'm trying to imagine a Republican president being any more effective than Obama would be against a Decepticon attack. Eight years ago, whither Cheney?).

Still, let Red America have a Transformers flick rather than have the White House, I say.

There' s another movie mixed into that appalling war-ad, and it' s a full-throated Transformers movie, with special effects and battle-sequences that worked better this time around, and are sometimes even breathtaking in their audacity (if sometimes swallowed by their own complexity). There are actually moments of real artistry, with creature effects that really are among the best I've ever seen. I had to sit through a Michael Bay movie to see them, which I won't want to do again unless there's another Transformers movie.

The AV Club has a wonderful breakdown of everything that went wrong, and of course we all read poor Ebert's generous take-down.

The theme that emerges from these reviews is that Michael Bay is far too old to be making this kind of movie. That confuses me a little bit. I sometimes wonder if critics forget who's in charge in Hollywood. I know it's maddening the amount of money this is making, I know it's juvenile, etc. etc. But to expect Michael Bay to grow up? Come on. We need Michael Bay. It's Manichean, really, how much we need him to soldier on, creating Manichean conflicts from the tip of his id. I don't ever want him to grow up. Every couple of years we get dazzled and appalled in equal measure. Behold our bread and circuses! Can we ever out-excess this? The last movie I watched before this one was Through a Glass Darkly. I'll be fine. Besides, ROTF was roughly the same movie last time, minus the minstrel show, and I don't remember this volume of critical fulmination in '07.

Project! Project!

With the new decade approaching, my brain is conspiring with encroaching time to produce a twice-monthly feature here at the Tympani room, starting in August. I'll be revisiting two influential films from 2000-2009, each month, with an eye towards how the filmmakers have defined the decade, for better or worse. Some will be great films, some will not, but the point will be to separate, from films that accomplished something distinctive, all the chaff, and in some cases, evaluate the runners up.

Leading to that, I'll be covering some of the almost-successes and total disasters of the decade. Modus Operandi on the latter will be the three D's: Deracination, Devaluation, and Dudgeon.

In the meantime, expect a handful of DJ mixes at the Droid Rock Show, and various musical trainspottings here, as per usual.

Speaking of, Adam Freeland's band has a new album out. Here's a little tease:

Why Does Roland Emmerich Hate The White House So Much?

God. Money.

That is all.

Gouranga!

Yes, I'm going to Bonnaroo. No, I don't care that there are hippies there. No, I'm not going to put reams of LSD into my mouth. If I can tolerate the company of the many very special people who frequent my bookstore on a weekly basis, I can tolerate some patchouli stank and a coupla hours of Phish (It'll be my first time hearing them in any format). Trust me, this is a vacation.

More pointedly, I get to see The Beastie Boys this week, along with Al Green, Animal Collective, The Decemberists, The Boss, etc.

Those for whom this post would fall under the category "rubbin' it in": wish you were accompanying us.

Hrm

That last post ended up being the wrong Olbermann, so go back to it here, and watch the right one.

I wouldn't just post random clips of him sniping at Limbaugh. There's enough of that, after all.

OlBURNmann

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

(Just wait for the last bit)

Nobody Would Be That Stupid

BURN.

When he's down is precisely the time to kick him. It's the one way to insure that we will very seldom be blighted with "Directed by McG".

Life At Its Best:

The Proxy Live, Melbourne 2009 - Part 1 from Baked Not Fried on Vimeo.

3-Duh

This is an open-ended conversation about 3-D, its efficacy, and its future.

This is Ebert simultaneously praising one technique while reducing another to gimmick status.

He seems to think there is no difference between being distracted by the gimmick of 3-D and being distracted by watching a movie on a screen twelve times the size of a normal one. I have yet to see a feature film on a real IMAX screen, but I'm guessing I'll be aware of its scope just as I was aware very briefly that Coraline was in 3-D. Here's the thing, though: I quickly forgot that Coraline was in 3-D and found myself swiftly accepting the look and feel of the world. It's the most beautiful balance of 3-D and storytelling I've ever seen, to the point where when you do sit up and notice the 3-D again, it's actually kind of a heady thrill, not a cheap distraction. I look forward to seeing Up, tomorrow.

I'm compelled by Ebert's decade-long dissertation on the brilliance of MaxiVision vs. cheaper celluloid and the conversion to digital. I would love to witness this fabled process in action. I'm also with him on the need to run projectors at their brightest settings.

For all that, there's a part of me that thinks the "purity" of the image should not always be a sacrosanct concept. When I was twelve, my brother made dubbed copies of movies he'd taped off HBO and Showtime, including Aliens, Poltergeist, Flatliners, Hellraiser, The Lost Boys, etc. My copy of Ghostbusters and The Neverending Story that my sister made me was also dubbed. These copies were grainy and pan-and-scanned, and they wore out over the years. To this day, that imperfection, that graininess, toyed with my imagination. Of course, movies are artifice. We want a world made differently than the one we're in, sometimes.

It's ok if kids notice the effects in Coraline. Why shouldn't kids learn at some point to be aware of technique, just a little? I don't think every movie should be 3-D, but I do enjoy it when it's done well, just as I enjoy anything that's done well. Where Monsters vs. Aliens was gimmicky 3-D, Coraline was boundary-pushing 3-D, a fantastic utilization of a technique producing a model-box nightmare come-alive. If it seemed to be lit a little darker than a normal movie, that still served its purpose.

The Human Condition No Longer Applies To Your Franchise

When McG signed on to direct Salvation, he knew that hardcore fans of the franchise would cry sacrilege. So he decided that he needed the Godfather's blessing. He went down to the set of James Cameron's Avatar, hoping to get a benediction (or at least some advice) from the man who created T1 and T2. But he walked away empty-handed. ''Cameron was very cordial, but he didn't give me his blessing,'' says McG. ''He did tell me, 'I know how you feel. When I directed Aliens, I was following Alien and the mighty Ridley Scott, and people thought, 'Who is this James Cameron? All he's made is Piranha 2!'''

A wide smile spreads across McG's face when he says this. He's not the subtlest guy in the world, and you can tell that he just wants to come right out and say it: Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle is his Piranha 2 and Terminator Salvation will be his Aliens.

-Entertainment Weekly.

That last bit seems to overlook that Cameron followed Piranha 2 with The Terminator, a film made with a small fraction of the Charlie's Angels franchise's budget, but never mind. It's fun to let McG speak for himself. More telling, really, is that the T4 screenplay is by the writers of Catwoman. There was clearly very little Jonathan Nolan could do to fix that, and the mind boggles at trying to pinpoint which scenes or themes he has inserted.

Paul Haggis, Nolan, and other screenwriters reportedly jumped in on a draft of Terminator Salvation (Skynet, apparently, has grammatically terminated the colon). The result is still a formless mass, bereft of dramatic action, free of incident, while being needlessly reflexive of James Cameron's films (T2 and Aliens) and also some boring thunderdome-less Beyond Thunderdome.

That's not to say this is really all that much of a letdown, since this series was dead by the end of T2, or, technically, by the end of the needless T3. The point after which your protagonists have at last failed to stop nuclear destruction is when it's hardest for me to care very much about the fate of John Connor (knowing full well that Kyle Reese will be fine until 1984).

In fact, I care very little about John Connor in general, though I suppose when I was a kid I viewed my T-800 guardian quite happily through the eyes of my on-screen Edward Furlong-surrogate. That was then, though, and it's a curious devolution of these films that they would so casually forget what made them appealing in the first place, their erstwhile protagonist, Sarah Connor. The Alien series remembered its female protagonist ass-kicker until the AvP films, deeming it necessary to clone her back from the dead (while giving her nothing much to do).

Sarah Connor dispatches the first Terminator (with some help from Kyle Reese). In T2, she's buff, deadly, and ruthless about her mission. James Cameron was really very good at creating female warriors. That's no small ingredient to the success of these franchises.

Absent that (and some perfunctory inclusion of a sassy female ass-kicker), the one moment of recognition between Connor and the young Kyle Reese (making the film both sequel and prequel), was effectively built into the premise by Cameron twenty-five years ago.

Either write these films, or don't make 'em. If you get to the point where you need Paul Haggis to save you from screenwriter barnacles latched upon your franchise, you've made the wrong fate for yourself.

...In Mitteleuropa, Shtupping a Volkswagen

Keeping Us Awake

Three Non-Stories

1) Obama at Notre Dame controversy: There were anti-war protests wherever George W. Bush went. You cannot, however, be truly pro-life and also support war-starting presidents. On the one hand, you have W., invading nations and overseeing the deaths of thousands, on the other, you have a president not personally responsible for a single abortion that has been carried out since Roe v. Wade. Abortion was legal under Bush, right? Either way, it's not a story. People are allowed to protest, and this has not served to "reignite" the debate. The debate's pretty well ignited.

2) Hate crimes legislation: I don't know what position to take on this, but I do know it's a non-story, in that it probably won't end up protecting a single homosexual. I'm more concerned with our basic human rights being covered by the law than I am with this getting passed. Good thing I didn't learn Arabic and decide to join the army. On the other hand, even though I don't believe in criminalizing our thoughts and motivations, I'm tempted to applaud a temporary edict against terrorizing your fellow Americans based on skin-deep differences. Still, carrying out this law will prove problematic, most likely requiring large cultural support. We're gaining ground. The real story is in the marriage and equality fights.

3)Swine-flu: Biggest non-story in years. To the lady at the bookstore who told me I should wash my hands after every single act: I sure hope your weakened immuno-response doesn't get your dumb-ass killed when you come down with regular flu.

Bonus: I'm not going to berate Republicans for being "the party of no". I'd prefer they be a reasonable and informed opposition, but that's a pipe-dream. Suffice it to say though, I'd have preferred it if the Democrats had been an actual opposition party of some kind over the past eight years. There's plenty to berate Republicans for. Berating them for being in opposition to us is intellectually dishonest.

I'm Slightly Hungover and Cranky

and this makes me feel better:

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Update:

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Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors

WHAT....

THE....

FUCK?!

To Boldly Whoa

In case you haven't heard, Star Trek, Abramized for your viewing pleasure, is just flawlessly fun. It's the sleekest summer entertainment in years, and stands visor and insignia above the last handful of the franchise's installments.

If you haven't seen it (based on anti-geek prejudices) or somehow haven't heard the buzz, get ye into a proper seat, avoid false IMAXes, and get ready to smile. ('Course, by now you probably have seen it)

One thing I have to ardently disagree with is that the film "reboots" the series. Not true. Yes, it's a new take, but so was The Next Generation, and their film also included a crossover between two casts. This is a full-blooded Star Trek movie. We could have a whole new generation of Star Trek shows and fans, and the best part of it all is the high concentration of love for and recognition of the original series, in the new film.

Many shows of our era, certainly any that hinge upon a group of professionals, bonded in mutual respect and love for each other, owe much to Star Trek. Sorkin's work would've been unthinkable without it.

Weird to be saying this, but Abrams and his crew put this into context for me: Our era needs Star Trek, needs it done right, and needs it completely showing off its true, whole heart. Deep down, it's always been less about starships, pseudo-science and space battles, and more about friendship and discovery. Any Star Trek entry that sidestepped that has done so to its detriment.

We've got it now, though. And the next movie stands a chance of being truly, memorably great.

Ear Tasties

ANIMAL COLLECTIVE "MY GIRLS" HD from KNOWMORE on Vimeo.

More psychedelia:

2009 Borderline from George Salisbury on Vimeo.

Get To It

Visit msnbc.com for Knobs, Outrage, and TITS!

You ain't Bill Clinton. You're better. Fix this.

Drinking To Forget

He is about 175 years old, he apparently stopped changing when he reached Hugh Jackman's age, and neither he, nor we, find out how he developed such an interesting mutation.

-Ebert

The rest of his review is about like that. Ebert completely rejects Wolverine as a character. More to the point, his heart and mind apparently can't comprehend the X-Men. Mutants are simply mutants. We don't concern ourselves with the how and why. Their powers are revealed to them through the course of puberty. Our curiosity was not that he had claws, but that they were made of adamantium.

In any case, Wolverine is best left alone. He winds up joining the X-Men in the midst of a multiple-year amnesia bender, unaware of how he got his shiny new bones. Why anyone ever wanted to spoil that wonderful premise with an explanation, I could never figure out. Thankfully, you won't remember much of Gavin Hood's sloppy follow-up to X3, since the final act works as its own adamantium bullet to your brain.

The various bits of angst levelled at Wolverine, in direct conflict with those 13 year-olds and 13 year-olds-at-heart who seemed to genuinely enjoy the flick, are not feelings I'm able to match. It's a better film than, oh, Fantastic Four 1 & 2, Ghostrider, X-3, Spider-Man 3, Daredevil, Elektra, etc. Spider-Man 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2, Iron Man and The Hulk, were all, well, quite good movies. The badness of some of the other Marvel properties only underlines that.

Should Wolverine have been better? My God, yes. Still, I'm not angry, but I look forward to Holly's review. Her reaction snapped me out of a complacent stupor.

Because, folks, much of the movie is pretty bad. I got through it rolling my eyes here and there, but, not expecting much to begin with, had what fun I could.

The bad: There is dialogue and incident that resorts at every possible turn to cliche. There are many moments you will see coming from eight plot points away. For all of Ebert's fawning over Gavin Hood's previous flicks, Hood's other work is no less maudlin. Hood peppers this film with half-sketched themes of imperialism and social injustice. The script he's relying on doesn't really justify his exploration of those issues, but perhaps we can be thankful a Wolverine flick doesn't become Tsotsi with claws.

If you're expecting darkness akin to the new Batman series or the kind of humor we saw in previous X-Men or Spider-Man movies (pre third installments), get ready to be disappointed. Wolverine is portentous when it should be light and corny when it should be earnest. It wastes Gambit, and completely ruins our expectations for Deadpool. Perhaps there hasn't been enough distance between this and the previous X-Men film. A complete reboot was probably our only hope, and by that point Hugh Jackman would've aged more noticeably than Wolverine ever would.

There is good in the film, though: Will i Am has his moments. Dominic Monaghan has a nice, brief bit of screen time as an electricity manipulator. Ryan Reynolds is more enjoyable than I've ever seen him as the mutant who becomes Deadpool. Danny Huston is more reliable than the movie deserves. Some of the action scenes are fun, financial-cut-corners and cheap special effects notwithstanding.

Then there's Liev Schreiber, furious, fearsome and engaging, the whole way through. His Sabretooth is the one durable character in the film. I wanted more of him, par for the course with Schreiber characters. Jackman is fine, but he's given too much camp and too little gravitas to inhabit here. Too bad, but again, why did we even need this movie?

Irony? Lost on Conservatives?

I was about to voice my wariness of Olbermann shedding light on this development, until I remembered he's blocked in most conservative households.

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Swagga

This one's Diplo and Switch, up there with their girl of the extended moment, Santogold, who I still refuse to dismiss as a fad. I don't know if I'm overpowered by this one or not, but it's good. It's a nice little tease for the upcoming collaboration.

In earlier Santogold related relays, I posted a quick link around the twitface-o-verse to this crossover between N.A.S.A., Kanye, Santi and Lykke Li, which exemplifies everything future music does well, bringing in the synth, the warbles, the bass and the space-travel.


N.A.S.A. - "Gifted" video from Anti Records on Vimeo.

I'm enjoying music videos that remind me of what it was like to bliss out over them way back when, and with that, to increase the amount of bandwidth needed to load this one single post, I leave you with Moby's new David Lynch directed video:


Shot In The Back Of The Head from Moby on Vimeo.

Let's All Go To the Range With Wayne LaPierre

Actually, let's not, because he's crazy.



The first amendment doesn't cover my right to post a bomb recipe on a bulletin board on campus (or in very many places at all), so why do I have the right to own the kind of firepower one could use to mow down a schoolyard in two seconds flat?

Either the NRA defends our right to own uranium or anthrax, or they're not serious about their position. Fortify their stance one way or the other, but NRA members will still be almost totally insane.

There Is No Greater Comedic Achievement...

....than Fox News.

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Moment of Zen - Ignoramus
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And another, much more urgent message:

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

(We here at the Tympani Room hope you are enjoying Embedded Video Month)

"Opposite Marriage"

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Things are really looking down for the anti-marriage movement, aren't they? Did a large majority see the gay "storm gathering" ads? Did anybody unencumbered by a seventh-grade emotional maturity level take the ads seriously?

Now we have this model who manages to make both marriage opponents and models live up to the stereotype. Let those apparently moved by her attitude cheer all they want, but from now on, I'm calling straight marriage "opposite marriage". With the divorce rates as high as they are in this country, it seems about right.

Incidentally, I don't refer to it as gay marriage. It's marriage, plain and simple, between two consenting adults. To oppose that is to do so on grounds that were covered nowhere in the New Testament, and you can spare me the one scintillating but ambiguous passage from Leviticus. That's a concern for the Jewish community, and I don't believe they hold a political preponderance in either major American party, as Christians do.

The line's getting overplayed, in this case because it's true: Replace the topic of "gay" marriage with that of De-segregation, and that woman would never walk on any stage anywhere, except maybe in Mississippi or Wasilla.


Back to unabashed gayness:



Dick Cheney going on Hannity to badmouth the Obama administration is the equivalent of walking onto the gay porn set with your butt-plug, ready and willing to go. These events both have their intended audiences.

Bless Weird Techno

I didn't really embrace Tiga before this. Go figure.


Tiga "Shoes" from AlexandLiane on Vimeo.

Acoustic Resonance

I've had varying reactions to Jarmusch. Wildy differing responses to a handful of Jarmusch movies are perfectly understandable. Hell, it makes sense to have one's enjoyment shift from scene to scene in just one flick of his. We're lucky to still have him:

#RIMNOM

What About Elmore Leonard?

If It's Real Dumb, It Leads

This is all too funny. Teabagging. Republican party/talk radio infighting. Fundamentalist Christians running scared enough to remove Rachel Maddow segments from youtube, and on and on.

I fear, though, that focusing so much on the follies of a dying party might produce something other than their last gasp. Mightn't it likely galvanize the crazy? It's possibly better to just let them burn it out in their own corner. We should be scrutinizing the Obama administration anyway, since there's clearly not an honorable or even coherent opposition party, at the moment.

Meanwhile, that horrorshow is entitled to believe whatever sub-literate lunacy it chooses. There'll be something new next week, and the week after that. We're giving their tea-parties lavish attention this week because it's hilarious television, not to mention thoroughly reassuring to liberals.

I voted for Obama partly in the hope that these thundering know-nothings might gasp their last political gasp and yield a better Republican party, not just a better Democratic party. I think we all voted for him because we wanted the political tenor to change. Focusing on the right wing rabble drowns that out. I don't give a damn what Sarah Palin said last week. She lost, and I thought our reward for that was not having to hear her voice anymore.

We should, no doubt, keep vigilant watch against the insane. Let's not, however, aid and abet Glenn Beck's ratings by scrutinizing every whacko nugget that falls out of his mouth. I'm not sure we have that kind of time, and besides, Obama's message is much, much better for us all, be you pro or con.

FTFabulousW!

Oh, the gay domino effect is comin', OH LAWS YES.
(Tip of hat to Holly)

Ahem. Also, this is too trippy for words, so just use Tiga's.

Pwning the Right...

...ain't that tough a job.

Nope, not really.

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Seriously, even members of the conservative citizenry are getting in on the action.

Addendum: Yep.

Squee

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

I Think...Oh, Well, See the Thing Is....Huh...I....hmm

I am simply a witness....



As a corollary.....
(Tip of hat to Holly)

Schlimmste. Puff. EVER.

This is especially fun when you view my links and DJ Charts in the right-hand column.

Update:

WIN.

THUD

My podcast host went kerplunk last month, so they had to re-up all the data they didn't lose. So, if you happened to miss the Janie mix, it's here.

Also, watch that space. More's a comin'.

Does This Bug You? I'm Not Twittering @You

Twitter's Dark Reality Revealed

Here You Go, Gossiping Nits

Take a few pages of this...

...and shut the fuck up in the morning.

Who's Bitching the Watchmen?

In lieu of a legit review, here's Ten Criticisms of Watchmen that annoy me:

It's too long (You knew the running time before you walked in. What exactly was so precious about the time you lost?)

It's not enough like the book!

It's too faithful to the book!

The Cold War Nuclear Scare is outdated.

It's ultraviolent fanboy trash!

It's cynical!

Oh God, Hallelujah again? (I mean, overplayed, yes, but not the Leonard Cohen version so much, certainly not the passages of the song we got, and anyway, get over it)

Bob Dylan? Is that all you could think of?

Boring! (Seriously, what does it take, America? Do you not like movies that much? I invite you to a screening of Tarkovsky's Stalker)

I shouldn't have to read the book to understand the movie (Why not? The movie makes perfect sense, it's not in un-subtitled Farsi).

Some criticisms I agree with:

Malin Akerman could've been a lot better (Though Matthew Goode in and of himself was fine. The filmmakers made character choices that run counter to the book in some ways, and Goode is for some reason being blamed. I thought his insouciance was fun).

The Comedian rape scene was a bit much.

The film could be baffling to the uninitiated. (but bear with it. It comes together, and plays even more lucidly a second time.)

The old person makeup seems right out of this Genesis video.

I don't believe a movie has to be some kind of exact transcription of its source material, but having said that, I agree with the notion that this movie actually deepens our understanding and connection to the book. For a patient, loving, and fan-based breakdown of book vs. movie, look no further than this piece.

It's far from a perfect movie. It is at times close to being a grand folly. Still, it comes together. It brings us images we've never really seen, even if we have read the book. The Dr. Manhattan origin story is flawlessly accomplished, spine tingling and utterly breathtaking. Jackie Earl Haley deserves every acting award there is for his Rorschach.

What do we look for in the movies? This film offers an American god, a right-wing vigilante kicking ass in a prison, a startling, provocative re-imagining of American political and social history, and an ambitious meditation on the path America has taken. It rivals The Dark Knight and JFK, if that's possible.

Also, what is going on with critics everywhere complaining about the film's Cold War era nuclear paranoia? Umm. This wasn't that long ago. We were most of us here during this one. We have nukes. Iran will have nukes soon, and North Korea and Pakistan do to this day, so to me this is still a VERY pertinent issue. If it's not a possibility that we might be teaching kids to hide under their desks again in the near future, why was Iran such a big deal during last year's campaign? (and less dramatically, what the hell is wrong with doing a period piece?)

For those who attempt to deflate the movie by saying it is needlessly violent and presents us with characters who believe that violence is the only answer, I ask you, do you read the news on a daily basis? I don't necessarily agree with these characters, but embracing their attitudes can put us in a reflective mode. I really do like dramas that give us clashing worldviews. These characters' plights inspire pity and terror. Which is what ancient dramas used to do.

Where the Wild Things Beat Your Ass Down

Bullshit. None of us has seen the movie. The song in the trailer was one thing, but it was not merely a music video we were all responding to. I saw some stills from this one several months ago, and I got chills from that alone.

Spike Jonze directed Being John Malkovich, Adaptation and the Sabotage video. You hold your cynical, unimaginative tongues until the movie comes out, you yapping, group-thinking hollywood scrooges.

FUCKING WOW

Yeah yeah, I don't care if you've seen this five or six times in five or six different places, you're going to see it at my house too.

Sui Generis

Nathan Rabin over at the AVClub just did a Case Flop on Dirty Work, reminding me of my theory that Americans should love Norm MacDonald.

Here's some evidence to support that theory:



...and here's absolute proof:

Bouillabaisse

Digested enough music lately? I didn't think so.

The weekend gave us a comprehensive and relentless Essential Mix from Fake Blood, a producer I've been slowly gaining a dependence on. This mix is well worth the two hours.

If you're looking for something gnarlier, Crookers is here to help with a decidedly unusual approach to a set list. Get it here.

Open up yer iTunes and click on this rightcheere

That's the Marine Parade podcast, and last week Alex Metric's March mix came out, with a relatively new track from Zombie Nation, a remix by Metric of Ladyhawke's Paris is Burning, and a sneak of his new Head Straight EP. One track from the EP is the midpoint of the set, and it's called What Now? AND IT WILL OWN YOU.

Other than that, here's some freebies:

Alex Metric remix of Freeland's new track.

Evil Nine's giving away their own remix of Icicles if you just sign up.

Finally, because I can't resist, here's a coupla these here embedded pickins, though you shoulda heard Metronomy's Heartbreaker by now (or there's no decency in radio), and A-Trak's latest remix is just quite sex.





Happy Snake Whackin' Day.

Watch Dis

Patton Oswalt, ever wise, ever true.

I'll write more about Watchmen later, but suffice it to say, and contrary to most film critics in this country, it's a breathtaking movie.

Wading through all the rustling complaints, nitpicks and misinterpretations attempting to deflate Snyder's accomplishment, I'm tempted to wonder if so called fans of movies and comic books really love the respective mediums at all.

All those completely inured of the capacity for awe really should avoid the flickering arts.

If Dis Don't Make Yer Booty Move

You've probably all seen this, but I must save it and watch it again and again.


BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

Tracklist, for the posterity of your posterior:

001. Heart of Glass / Blondie
002. Jimmy / M.I.A.
003. Deceptacon / Le Tigre
004. Im on Fire / 5000 Volts
005. Je Veux Te Voir / YELLE
006. The Way I Are / Timbaland
007. Too Young / Phoenix
008. Over And Over / Hot Chip
009. Stick It To The Pimp / Peaches
010. Say My Name / Destiny's Child
011. Pin / Yeah Yeah Yeahs
012. Geremia / Bonde Do Role
013. Let Me Clear My Throat / DJ Kool
014. Point Of No Return / Expose
015. Bubble Sex / The Seebach Band
016. Pump Up the Jam / Technotronic
017. Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above / CSS
018. Hella Nervous / Gravy Train
019. Me Plus One / Annie
020. Don't Go / Yaz
021. Bootylicious / Destiny's Child
022. Electric Feel / MGMT
023. Boys Don't Cry / The Cure
024. Lose Control / Missy Elliott
025. Ride The Lightning / Evans And Eagles
026. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough / Michael Jackson
027. Hearts On Fire / Cut Copy
028. Tainted Love / Soft Cell
029. Between Us & Them / Moving Units
030. It Feels Good / Tony Toni Tone
031. Polaris (Club Mix) / Cyber People
032. You Never Can Tell / Chuck Berry
033. Huddle Formation / The Go! Team
034. Pump That / FannyPack
035. My Love / Justin Timberlake
036. Hung Up / Madonna
037. Justice - D.A.N.C.E (MSTRKRFT Remix) / Justice
038. Cybernetic Love / Casco
039. Creep / TLC
040. When I Hear Music / Debbie Deb
041. B.O.B. / Outkast
042. Bubble Pop Electric / Gwen Stefani
043. Miss You Much / Janet Jackson
044. You Spin Me Round / Dead Or Alive
045. Slide In / Goldfrapp
046. Kelly / Van She
047. Mine Fore Life / The Sounds
048. Disco Heat / Calvin Harris
049. Nighttiming / Coconut Records
050. Club Action / Yo Majesty
051. Pogo / Digitalism
052. Lip Gloss / Lil Mama
053. Heartbeats / The Knife
054. Enola Gay / OMD
055. Goodbye Girls / Broadcast
056. Kids In America / Kim Wilde
057. Kiss / Prince
058. Tenderness / General Public
059. Push It / Salt N Pepa
060. Circle, Square, Triangle / Test Icicles
061. Day 'N' Nite (Crookers Remix) / Kid Cudi
062. Shadows / Midnight Juggernauts
063. Paris (Aeroplane Remix) / Friendly Fires
064. Out At The Pictures / Hot Chip
065. Me Myself and I / De La Soul
066. AudioTrack 10 / Diplo
067. Girls & Boys / Blur
068. Heater / Samim
069. I Wanna Dance With Somebody / Whitney Houston
070. Hands In The Air / Girl Talk
071. Limited Edition OJ Slammer / Cadence Weapon
072. Meeting In The Ladys Room / Mary Jane Girls
073. NY Lipps / Soulwax
074. Lex / Ratatat
075. Gravity's Rainbow (Soulwax Remix) / Steve Aoki
076. Once In A Lifetime / Talking Heads
077. Leave It Alone / Operator Please
078. Half Mast / Empire Of The Sun
079. Hardcore Girls / Count and Sinden feat. Rye Rye
080. Dance, Dance, Dance / Lykke Li
081. Never Gonna Get It / En Vogue
082. Blue Monday / New Order
083. Crazy In Love (Featuring Jay-Z) / Beyoncé
084. 10 Dollar / M.I.A.
085. Love To Love You Baby / Donna Summer
086. Steppin' Out / Lo-Fi-Fnk
087. Karle Pyar Karle / Asha Bhosle
088. Love Will Tear Us Apart / Joy Division
089. Straight Up / Paula Abdul
090. My Drive Thru / Santogold, Casablancas, NERD
091. Like A Prayer / Madonna
092. Freedom 90 / George Michael
093. Black & Gold / Sam Sparro
094. B-O-O-T-A-Y / Spank Rock and Benny Blanco
095. Great Dj / The Ting Tings
096. In A Dream / Rockell
097. Don't Stop the Music / Rihanna
098. Hong Kong Garden / Siouxsie & The Banshees
099. It's Tricky / D.M.C.
100. Bizarre Love Triangle / New Order

Roll The Dice To See The Squid

Comic Critics

(Via earthtopus and kukkurovaca)

Kindlen'

Just watched Kindle guy defend Kindle 2 to Jon Stewart. I'm by no means a Luddite. I own or am caretaker to a private arsenal of technology. I'm typing this on a Mac and I was one of many thousands Twittering (but not over-Twittering) last night's Oscarcast.

Therein lies my main resistance to turning my library "green", though. Do I really want one more device, when one of the pleasures of reading is an escape from what the industrial revolution hath wrought? Does the act of reading a book have a different physiological and psychological effect than reading text on a screen? I believe so, and I don't believe I'm imagining it. I feel much more at ease when I've spent a healthy part of a given week deep in reading, thankfully apart from anything that attaches itself to the pace of the outside world.

Beyond that, for all the time I spend online, it's primarily consumptive, not reflective. I have to stand back from the deluge of information I receive before the wheels start rolling and I turn it into work, or more accurately, begin to pose greater questions or attempt to interpret. Another electronic device might stir up an already ingrained consumptive predilection on my part. Which is fine, but I'm not sure I'm consumptive when I read a book. I think that act is supposed to ignite different impulses, which my body has reserved for the reading of a physical book, not a screen.

When I read a book or any non-electronic text, I find myself freed up. Isaac Asimov once described a book as a non-electrical video cassette that required no screen and started merely upon looking at it. It would pause when you looked away and required no more than your attention to unpause it.

I suppose that leaves me with having to defend myself from the self-righteous position of the Kindle partisan, assuring me but really castigating me that it's the way to "go green", as a reader. Sure, because no electronic device leaves a carbon footprint, certainly not one hooked up to a 3G network downloading information on a daily basis, my no, that doesn't require energy consumption at all. I'm pretty sure my owning a physical library is not on par with driving a four-by-four or spraying aerosol cans into the air, thanks. Plus, you probably own a car and a Kindle, whereas I own neither.

Still, having said all that, I'm not entirely unsympathetic to where our economic and sociopolitical repletion will eventually encapsulate us. We'll all be in our own cubicles eventually, and I guess I can just hope it gets to that after I'm gone or don't care anymore.

In any case, I wouldn't rule out the notion of owning one. It has significant scholarly possibilities to say the least, and would be great to travel with.

But I'm not about to make a trade.

Curiouser and Curiouser

I was not in fact trying to sound like Andrew Sarris while tweeting this last night.

I am in fact, not pissy at all this year that Departures beat Waltz With Bashir and The Class, as I've seen none of these movies so far.

However, when The Lives of Others beat Pan's Labyrinth, in Best Foreign Filim back in '07, I was down on it, because the Academy had snubbed the Pan, a deserved Best Pic nom.

I got over it when I saw The Lives of Others. It's a tremendous, brilliant film.

This is one of the few categories in which I'm very tempted to completely trust the voters' judgment (all categories, except for Best Picture, I believe, are limited to a specialized, narrow group of voters). I think they know people are going to see Waltz and The Class, just like they knew people were already embracing Pan's Labyrinth.

Nope, not being pedantic here, either.

Read 'em and Weep

Liveblogging the pics I got right (and wrong), startin' here in a few. Just keep on refreshin'.


8:43

Actress in a Supporting Role

My Prediction: Taraji P. Henson

Winner: Penelope Cruz

Well, I loved her, and Nate Silver was right that he'd be wrong.


8:55

Best Original Screenplay

My Prediction: Dustin Lance Black

Winner: Dustin Lance Black


9:00

Adapted Screenplay

My Prediction: Simon Beaufoy

Winner: Simon Beaufoy


9:07

Animated Film

Mine: Wall-E

Theirs: Wall-E


9:19

Art Direction

Prediction: Benjamin Button

Winner: Benjamin Button


9:21

Costumes

Prediction: The Duchess

Winner: The Duchess


9:24

Makeup

Prediction: Benjamin Button

Winner: Benjamin Button


9:34

Cinematography

Prediction: Wally Pfister

Winner: Anthony Dod Mantle


10:07

Best Supporting Actor

Mine (Yours): Heath Ledger

Theirs: Heath Ledger


10:15

Documentary

Prediction: Man On Wire

Winner: Man On Wire


10:28

Visual Effects

Prediction: Benjamin Button

Winner: Benjamin Button


10:29

Sound Editing

Prediction: Wall-E

Winner: The Dark Knight


10:32

Sound Mixing

Prediction: Wall-E

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire


10:35

Editing

Prediction: Chris Dickens (Slumdog)

Winner: Chris Dickens (Millionaire)


10:54

Original Score

Prediction: A.R. Rahman

Winner: A.R. Rahman


11:01

Best Original Song

Prediction: Jai Ho - A.R. Rahman, lyrics by Gulzar

Winner: Jai Ho - A.R. Rahman, lyrics by Gulzar


11:20

Direction

Prediction: Danny Boyle

Winner: Danny Boyle


11:32

Best Actress

Prediction: Kate Winslet

Winner: Kate Winslet


11:43

Best Actor

Prediction: Mickey Rourke

Winner: Sean Penn


11:53

Enchilada

Prediction: Slumdog Millionaire

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire