Cesspool of Imbecility

Having posted on Facebook, strangely enough, my reaction to John Gibson's unbelievably shameless and incsrutably mean-spirited mocking of Heath Ledger's death (not to mention Ledger's portrayal of a certain laconic cowboy), I stopped for a second.

I won't un-post the note, but to write one so topically is uncharacteristic of me. It occurred to me that I've hated the very fact of Gibson's career for many years.

He would be on in the living room on a daily basis, and my loving Mom and Granny seemed to agree with him. He lost me upon sight, but I remember being sold on the need for a good tar-application to him when he listed Star Wars as a possible cause of Columbine-style violence, because they use laser guns in those movies.

Before, I felt he should've been fired for relentless mediocrity. Now, since Imus got fired (deservedly) for his racial slur, Gibson should be fired for his homophobic mockery. Which is what it was. As one article I read helpfully points out, this guy was mocking a straight man (well, two, including Gyllenhaal) for even playing gay.

We really should use mediocrity as grounds for dismissal, but if what it takes is stuff like this, maybe they'll all be dumb enough to weed themselves out.

But if this isn't enough of a slur on behalf of the minority I'm a part of, then Imus might as well get his job back.

Tak, tady jsme v Another Dimension

So, I'm gonna remind you to go here and keep up with Andrew's unspooling translation of good Karel's work (with, apparently, an editorially imposed transition from encroaching death to sudden whimsy? I think I missed a day, but am going back now).

Seriously, Andrew's Fable Farming is some mighty good work. Good for the humours, the blood pressure, and all that ails you.

Muzak Make You Lose Control: Once soundtrack

I'll Die With Monsters From Hell: There Will Be Blood, Dexter - Season One, Ace In The Hole, The Good Shepherd, Atonement

Finally Reading It All: The Stand

Obligatory Oscar Prognosticatin'

The Oscars mean something this year, but only because it's this year.

Yeah, it's been an arty year, but everything I've seen's been pretty damn good art, so far. I mean, if it turns people onto seein' stuff from this list that they might otherwise not be compelled to see, then maybe their darkness will be alleviated by some light (or darkened by headier darkness).

Go ahead and give it to Daniel DAY Lewis, please. He's more than just his left foot, in case you didn't know.

Can't speak for the leading women, and haven't seen enough from the littler women.

Javier Bardem got here the same way the coin did, and you'll give 'em up to two real boogeymen if you know what's good for you.

The directing category just made me pee a little. Give it to PTA. No, the Coens! Nuh uh, Jason Reitman, stay out, you're pretty, but they'll EAT YOU UP with their toothy fists.

Cinematography goes to Robert Elswit for There Will Be Blood.

But Atonement could win for its Dunkirk segment alone, whether I want Elswit to win or not. Elswit should win for all his work with PTA, but that Dunkirk scene, on its own, is better than the rest of Atonement and many, many films I've seen. I'm exceedingly torn on that.

The Coens win the Editing award. The Coens WIN THE EDITING AWARD. Do not pull an Emmanuel Lubezki on us this year like you did the last.

Original Song better be the one from Once. Seriously.

All the Best Picture Noms are good. Well, I haven't seen Michael Clayton, but I will pretty soon. I've heard it's good from all the right sources.

Juno? I loved it dearly. It lives up to its Little Miss Sunshine hype the way LMS didn't.

It won't beat No Country or Blood. It can't.

Unfortunately, that's because those two movies are too unconventional, violent and trippy for the Academy, and will be beaten by Atonement, which is also more, you know, Academy than any of the others.

Well, maybe not, but who cares. Great year. Great.

Also, to the Googlers and the Askjeevesers and the Yahoos, if you want to know whether or not Christopher Plummer is gay, go upstairs, because I'm in percussion down here, and can't answer your question. He's probably crying because he didn't get nominated again, so I better not ask.

Ok, Roger

What's up for grabs is whether or not There Will Be Blood is a great movie. I say it is, in spite of certain imperfections. Repeated viewing will reveal the movie more.

However, to take issue with your three parenthetical complaints, i.e:

1) Unbending characters, 2) Lack of women or any reflection of normal society, and 3) its relentlessness.

Well, ok.

1) Horror's horror. We've had an unbending president, haven't we? Topicality does not make one great, but monsters such as Plainview (and Eli Sunday) have existed and still do, and are worth studying.

2) The Godfather

3) There's something to be said for burning even longer than you have the fuel for. The last 20 minutes of this movie are more surprising (and in retrospect inevitable) than any rain of frogs, a twist which I loved, you loved, and was ten times more of a reach.


It's still a pretty accurate description of the movie, Ebes.
And yeah, it's certainly up for grabs whether or not this kind of thing is enjoyable to watch.

But I've never seen anything like it, and that's been happening more often lately.

R.U.R.

I've stumbled upon some workins from a lab. I sneaked in clandestinely (fine, I was alerted).

Before the inevitable explosions and village terrorizings begin, I figure I can sneak you in and let you decide whether or not you'll want to be brandishing pitchforks or boards with nails in them.

It's likely, however, that after the creature reaches unity, you'll want to thank Andrew, and have him send you a hard copy.

Whatever you decide, it'll be a pleasure for me and you alike to get daily or so doses of an unfolding translation of Bajky a podpovídky (Fables and Understories by Karel Capek)

It tasty.

Movies are My God Now (Again): Margot at the Wedding, Eastern Promises, Charlie Wilson's War, Once, The River, Bonnie and Clyde

About To Choke a Bitch Unless: There Will Be Blood

Probably Perfect: In Rainbows - Radiohead

Thank You For Smoking

Dear Nicotine Withdrawal Symptoms,

Hi! You may remember me as that guy that caused your existence, both by smoking in the first place, and then by removing my precious 10-15 nails of a coffin a day from my body, fairly soon after.

I did some research, guided mostly by the unparalleled fatigue I've been enduring on your behalf for the past month, and have discovered, unless I miss my guess, that your existence is prolonged by industry insistence on keeping you alive, a fiend to so succumb to, as would indicate this Boston Globe Article.

Apparently, the first time I endured you would've been the best time to have been the last time to endure you, but no matter now.

Don't worry. Your time is short. Trust me. I'm infinitely bitchier than you are. You really know not the genes with which you fuck.

Sincerely,

Jesse and His Dynamic Genetic Material.

Apropos of Nothing, but if I don't get a chance to see There Will Be Blood fucking but soon, I'm going to get really, really ENVIOUS.

I Need To Get Paid To Write About the Damn Movies

Or, I need a car, because I haven't seen enough current movies this year.

But, here's my official Top Ten of 2007. All other 2007 entries eligible for next year, including Juno, Sweeney Todd, Control, Charlie Wilson's War, There Will Be Blood, etc.

Dekalog still makes the list.

10. Grindhouse
9. Superbad
8. Across The Universe
7. Bug
6. The Darjeeling Limited
5. Eastern Promises
4. The Lives of Others
3. American Gangster
2. Dekalog
1. No Country For Old Men

Had to remind myself what I'd seen this year, and I'd left off a few notables. I've been out of my gourd lately, because I completely forgot to mention American Gangster, which is no small oversight, seeing as how it's Ridley Scott's best film since Blade Runner.

Honorable mention must go to the makers of Shoot 'Em Up, the fuckinest fuckin' fucker of a movie I've ever seen. We were right, Smoke Frog, we were right.

Thanks also to that one guy who screamed "Holy Shit!" during Spider Man 3 when Pete b-slapped MJ.

Wanna Be Writin' Somethin' Got to Be Writin' Somethin'

Early, I know, but here's my Top Ten. Read 'em and weep, making exceptions of course for the as of now unseen by me Charlie Wilson's War, Sweeney Todd, and There Will Be Blood (The very latter may well top the list retroactively once I've seen it.)

There are others I've missed, but in a feat of laziness (and fiduciary apoplexy, resulting in increased Netflix turnover later on) I'll just take a cue from years past and put them on my 2008 list when I finally see them (again, the caveat here being that Paul Thomas Anderson's movie, if the standey I saw for it and the early reviews I've read of it are any indication, will fuck me long and my socks will still be on).

10. Grindhouse - I was one of the lucky handful of the faithful who sprawled out in a sparsely populated theater to see this one on Easter Weekend. It was one of the filthiest, silliest, bloodiest, most ridiculously over-the-top exercises in self-indulgent movie making nonsense I've ever seen. And I laughed my ass off for the first half and was truly knocked out by Tarantino's.

9. Superbad - Fuckin' McLovin' amazing.


8. Babel - Metaphysically and artistically, this is the movie Crash could never have even thought to hope to be.

7. Pan's Labyrinth - Bitch knows how to cut a bitch in the mouth.

6. Children of Men - Gets better every time you watch it. These are all 2006ers, but I saw 'em this year, and I doubt they'll be topped any time soon. When it happens, you'll know.

5. Dekalog - Saw all 10 of these this year. It's from about 20 years ago. Recommended viewing for anyone who thinks about right and wrong. Also recommended viewing for anyone who will someday die.

4. The Darjeeling Limited - In all fairness, this is higher on the list than the Meso-American Triad and the freakin' Kieslowski because it's an honest-to-god 2007er. This one's more direct, more simple, and less quixotic than The Life Aquatic, and it really only rivals Tenenbaums. For those who simply can't be pleased by Wes Anderson making the same film about the aloof, dry types he's consumed with, well, look elsewhere. Unless, you're one of the straights, and you wanna see Natalie Portman naked, of course (What's that? You've already gone to Fandango?). Me, I'm fine if he keeps playin' this ditty for as long as we're both here.

3. The Lives of Others - Tightly constructed and unflinching, this is an unexpected German companion piece to The Conversation and Blow Up, in its own way.

2. No Country For Old Men - Even for the Coens, this is a bizarre and cold film. It's also one of the best I have ever seen, and that beats a lot of competition, including some from the Coen Boys themselves. I'm not sure I find it as nihilistic as some have (particularly Andrew Sarris, who is not a bitch, not really. His review was cordial.)
I don't remember being affected so suddenly and powerfully by an ending. At least not since Magnolia.

1. Speak of the devil, I really don't know what the number one will be. Is it gonna be Sweeney Todd? I love Burton, Depp, Bonzo Bonham Carter and Co, but never enough for them to top my year-end best. Aaron Sorkin? You comin' back to us? Well, the good Congressman's story, even in your un-coke stained (and reportedly splendid this time around) hands, is going to be hard-pressed to beat my adoration for what the Coens accomplished with No Country.

It's more than likely going to be a showdown between No Country and There Will Be Blood, unless Juno really is as good as they say, and by that, I mean Citizen Pregnant Fucking Kane.

I'm the Hated Milk Machine

And the Award...

...For most perfect Google search to yield a result for this site goes to:

"Christopher Plummer Fanfiction"

Yeah. Fanfiction. That's half right.

Andrew Sarris is a Bitch

He's the only reason the Tomatometer(tm) is scoring a 96% for No Country For Old Men.

Didn't Pauline Kael debunk your ass in the late sixties?

Whatevs, Mr. Auteur Theory.

That movie [insert wild wobbly Jesse-style praise here]

Mind you, no large gesture of praise would amount to hyperbole. Not even from 'round these parts, or even, gasp, from 'round them parts.

80

Feliz Cumpleaños


Or so sang sonorously Señor Wattenbarger, to my Granny today, at the surprise birthday party we threw for her.

Incidentally, Obi Wan and Señor send their love to us, be we on the west coast or in the far east, or anywhere in between.

Blip Bootwa Blip Wop Let's Make 'em Bounce

No he escrito últimamente, pero...

Fine, sure I'll post a bit, since I had to wait 'til asked, and have a very hungry second.

My recent adventures, mind, will pale in comparison to Jef's. (Read up, and be afraid, while laughing.)

Same's true for the westward perigrinations of our very own More Human Than Human Slavicist. Good luck on the Sorbian. We here thought it was dying. Shows what we here know.

Also, I never see you anymore, Cara, and I find it often cause for concern. I know you've been busy, but I miss your prose every time I get a little bit of it. Your post taste good. Like, in the mouth.

As fer me? Well, I'm pretty sure I'm either a picaro or a one's own garden cultivator, but I can't be both. This past month has been wild, rockstar, full of mistakes, blunders, miracles, and mostly laced with placid-sense-of-calm. All for good reason, but the sooner that mellowness passes, the better.

Addendum: I've missed this happening ever since I moved sites, but, I suppose inevitably, the google searches are coming back, including weekly searches for "Chateau Neuf Du Pap", thanks to this post.

Also, the number of searches for "Christopher Plummer Gay" are making me giddy.

Addendum II: Storm From the East: Rhys, you should call me. Been too long.

Elektro: Santos

Truth of the Matter is, He Said, She is: No Country For Old Men - McCarthy

Waiting Impatiently For: No Country For Old Men

Let's Get High: The Darjeeling Limited, Water, American Gangster

Ass-Weasels

Oh dear. We're renting Dreamcatcher. Words I never thought I'd hear myself saying, but we must. Someone. Anyone. I must see this.

Next Sunday, A.D.

So, I'm an especial doofus, jackhole and nincompoop for having not called, on Halloween, Holly, my dear friend and partner in humanitarian music delivery this week at Janie's.

Holly manages a feat of editing panache while maintaining verbal (and emotional) devotion to the show that formed us, and I was along for the ride, quipping and laughing my ass off at jokes and songs I've heard a million times and still love with uproarity.

Go there. Be filled with mirth.

Getting a Reaction from the Geiger Counter...

This Halloween, make sure you take a stroll down to Barstoolio Lane, 'cause she's doin' a Countdown-to-All-Hallow's-Music-A-Thon, where you'll find kickin' remixes of Danny Elfman and other assorted goodies. She's also revealed my most sinister mix, maybe ever, right here.

Her copy is FTW! (Also FTW, her photoshopping, see below)

Here's a link to my set, right click as per usual.

1. Roxiller - Fear

2. Yelle - A Cause De Garcons (Sta mix)

3. Justice vs Simian - We Are Your Friends (Scottie B, King Tutt, and Samir mix)

4. Mr. Oizo - Nazis

5. Santos - Elektro

6. Lostep - Because We Can

7. Chris Carter - Creature Feature

8. Mr. Oizo - Nazis (Justice mix)

9. Armand Van Helden - I Want Your Soul (Fake Blood mix)

10. Klaxons - Gravity's Rainbow (Soulwax mix)

You'll Never Be Alone Again

Well come on.



Still not sure where I stand on Justice's regalia, memorable as it is....

The Only Poetry I've Ever Written That I'm Proud Of....

...is about Star Wars. So, I'll give this over to a finer hand:



Fuck You, mister,

Fuck your sister,

Fuck your brother,

Fuck your mother,

Fuck your pop--

Hey! I'm a cop!

- I'm a Cop, by Thomas Pynchon

Sign (one of many) that he's postmodern: He left out "Fuck your uncle".

That little ditty's not directed at anyone. I'm not rattling off aggression. It just makes me smile.

That's all I got fer right now, folks, and the Camino browser recognises neither the spelling of Pynchon or Camino. It also, tellingly, doesn't recognise postmodern.

I will say this, I'm rumblin' some funnies deep down somewhere. I sense it when my trick knee starts achin'. Kinda like when there's a hard rain comin'. Hard rain's comin', and that always leads to some funny. Watch this space.

Lend Me Your Ears and I'll Sing You a Song: Across the Universe, The Lives of Others, Out of the Past

Dance, Too Much Smarty in the Pants: Gore Vidal - United States: Essays

Oh My God, That's the Funky Shit: Alex Metric

Worst. Whorehouse. Ever.

Why, yes, I do exist as a mere expediter of your movie larnin'. I like funnelling links to Ebert's reviews into you as if you were a right viscous cinematographic feedhole. Ignore that, if you can.

Don't, however, ignore this.


And I can't help it that he just reviewed COM on Friday. I haven't got much to write about at the moment, bloggily, so until I can bargle nargle zouse, well, you know the rest.

Im in ur mnd's I

Mkin Metfors. Kfusedthxbai!

I've Got You, Babe

!!!


"Along the way, they are pursued by Homeland Security troops, and there is a chase scene with one of the most sudden and violent moments I have ever seen in a film. Not all of the chases in all of the Bournes equal this one, shot in a single take by one camera, for impact."

He Was Never Once Paid by the Word: Bleak House

All the President's Stab: Zodiac