Where were your testes eight years ago? Barack, here's your energy intitiative.
Dammit.
Also, this week in stupid motherfuckers:
I won't have this effluvium on my site, so I'll just leave it to Wonkette to get dirty. As if they didn't live in other people's filth, anyways.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
The Chronicles of Beleaguered Ed Norton
So, I loved the new Hulk picture. I thought it was almost as good as Iron Man. I had heard that Edward Norton was having a giant meltdown and refusing to promote the movie over creative control/screenplay issues. Apparently you wouldn't like him when he's angry, or moreover, you wouldn't like him when he senses your indifference to his artistic concerns.
I usually don't care at all about diva silliness from people I'll probably never meet or have to put up with, but I saw The Incredible Hulk with Livia. Our first exchange:
Jesse: Nice locations.
Livia: I'm sure we have Edward Norton to thank.
Jesse: 'This gulch won't do. Don't worry, I've found another--better--gulch. (Infuriated) YOU CALL THIS A QUARRY?'.
Oh, it gets even more one-upsy from there:
Me: I've done blow near better tributaries!
Livia: I banged Salma Hayek in a more suitable bog!
Me: Get this fjord outta my sight! Don't you know I directed Keeping the Faith?!!!
Livia: I was nominated for an Oscar in my screen debut, and you present me with this third-rate brook? it needs to BABBLE, motherfucker. Get off my set.
At this point, I'm having little paroxysms.
Livia: William Hurt's hair needs to be MORE silver! It reflects the vein of cold steel running through his soul! Were you born in a fucking barn? LEARN THE SEMANTICS!
Me: I ask for wispy and you bring me fucking Liv Tyler?!! I said Johansson! Dammit!
Livia: Excuse me? Did you just say cut? I was in the fucking MOMENT and you can't wait to stuff a ham sandwhich down your gullet? Norton have final cut. NORTON CUT!!!
Me: Somebody get Tim Blake Nelson a bib. He's getting MY scenery all over his clothes.
Livia: I can hear his voice.
Me: That's what makes it art.
I usually don't care at all about diva silliness from people I'll probably never meet or have to put up with, but I saw The Incredible Hulk with Livia. Our first exchange:
Jesse: Nice locations.
Livia: I'm sure we have Edward Norton to thank.
Jesse: 'This gulch won't do. Don't worry, I've found another--better--gulch. (Infuriated) YOU CALL THIS A QUARRY?'.
Oh, it gets even more one-upsy from there:
Me: I've done blow near better tributaries!
Livia: I banged Salma Hayek in a more suitable bog!
Me: Get this fjord outta my sight! Don't you know I directed Keeping the Faith?!!!
Livia: I was nominated for an Oscar in my screen debut, and you present me with this third-rate brook? it needs to BABBLE, motherfucker. Get off my set.
At this point, I'm having little paroxysms.
Livia: William Hurt's hair needs to be MORE silver! It reflects the vein of cold steel running through his soul! Were you born in a fucking barn? LEARN THE SEMANTICS!
Me: I ask for wispy and you bring me fucking Liv Tyler?!! I said Johansson! Dammit!
Livia: Excuse me? Did you just say cut? I was in the fucking MOMENT and you can't wait to stuff a ham sandwhich down your gullet? Norton have final cut. NORTON CUT!!!
Me: Somebody get Tim Blake Nelson a bib. He's getting MY scenery all over his clothes.
Livia: I can hear his voice.
Me: That's what makes it art.
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