Sunday, December 04, 2005

What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

I didn't forget about this, it just got sidetracked in the rubble of the week's dead-ends and Hi-Theres! dropped from B-29s flying over the labor camps of my soul. So. Without further ado, tis my toast to the Knockinest of Knockers, the Jewels of the Snarky Nile, Holly's Titties.

What's Past is Prologue

Recent developments have made it possible for me to extoll the virtues of the great rocks of Anderson, without any need to worry about impropriety. Was true always that these motzah balls would spin the dreidel of any Jewish liberal-Media-Hollywood elites, and true, the test of time will show it, and she'll use it to her advantage.

Will she use her cream puffs to sleep her way to the top? It's for her to decide, for what her angel cakes bestow upon us is majesty, from brook to brook, creek to creek, from Steak'N'Slash to hideous squid-puppet induced nightmares of sycophants laid low by a knock from her artichokes.

Those babylons could sink Babylon, her saline bags halt the approach of those too meager to match words over a bowl of soup, and true, in that case, her dynamic duo marked our territory.

Wicked, trixy, false, her frontal female water wings are a testament to natural sculpture. Truly, forsooth, there must be divine inspiration if such hottentots were thus made hotter. What's this hottentot got that we ain't got? Epic tits. May the world watch with wonder at the dead heat in a zeppelin race that is her rack. Mazel Tov.

P.S. Holly's tits are huge and Real.

Used as Reference: Joe Bobb Briggs's Exhaustive Boob Synonym List

Monday, April 11, 2005

One Thing About Living in Brno I Never Could Stomach: All the Damn Vampires

Tak. Al-A. No, Tak is how they say 'so' here (and probably a few other things). Don't they realize that that makes them demoniacs? Just found out my favorite Brock ever has an LJ. You're not going to let it fester into typical LJ territory, right? You know, turning it into a text-based lamentation on mundanity? Only recently have I met people who use LJ for the greater good (Now, the Dawson LJs are different. I mean, they're Dawsons. They exist on a much higher plane than the average LJ user, and have been so doing for some time). I'm sure you won't. Just so long as there is plenty of rumination on the looming of our brother's colon, things should be run like the tight ship that this web kingdom tends to be. Right. Moving onwards. What's new and different (cringe)?

Well, I went with this crazy cat and this Godless Couch Fuck to see The Plastic People of The Universe on Wednesday night. Perhaps the most famous and significant of Czech rock bands, The Plastic People were persecuted for rocking too hard by the Communists, who generally didn't like things to rock so much. So Vaclav Havel said, "Oh NO YOU D'Innt" and the Commies were all like, "What're you gonna do about it? Huh? You gonna write up some of your sissy queer plays and smart us to death Mr. Smarty McSmart Smart?"

And so Havel called together the Legion of Czech Super-Friends, and well,
in the spirit of Civil Disobedience, formed a petition that was eventually fruitful towards its Release-The-Plastic-People-Because-They-Rock-Hard-
And-This-Is-An-Injustice sorta thing. And it worked. And they performed with the Agon Orchestra, The Pasijove Hry (Passion Play) at Havel's house in 1978. We saw the third and final performance. It was like The Wall mixed with Tommy and Jazz. As Jef said: "Tom Waits woulda been in Heaven"
So, yeah. I bought a CD. Cool Story. Yeah. Keep that Southeastern Shire ready for me. I got three more months.

We Still Don't Have: Sin City

I like: Beck - Mutations

Nebo Jiti Jest Hospodinovo: The Plastic People Of The Universe

Go and be a Homosexual Movie Actor !: The Satanic Verses - Rushdie