Let me count the ways. Starting very, very soon.
I'll backstory this a little:
A while back, I was bedevilled into renting Freedomland by a friend of mine. I've finally acquiesced so as to receive conversation from him that deviates from the "have you seen it yet, oh god it's so terrible" territory.
This better suck.
I've never "live-blogged" an "event" before, but the kids these days seem to love it, and since I'm cranky, this will be sporadically interesting.
In light of recent Joe Roth developments, feel free to interrupt me at ANY TIME. I don't want to give this movie the impression that it's more than a movie loaf. But I pre-judge. Time to find my play button. Hush.
I'M GOING TO ASSUME
..... seeing as how Samuel Jackson usually changes his hair pretty dramatically, that this time it's simply grown out into the shape of that hat. I'll let you know if he ever takes it off.
Also, I haven't yet seen a snake.
STOP HITTING YOURSELF
JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN EDIT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD
One edit per syllable. One edit per
...well...his partner just called him Big Daddy
HE'S MY SON
You son of a bitch, I'll show you fuck me!
Did I get drunk and write a screenplay again?
LIKE, YOU KNOW
At Erin's house? Just sayin'
Is still there.
STOP HITTING YOURSELF!
I mean, I know much of what I'm saying here is only for the benefit of myself and those who've seen it, so apologies in advance.
There goes the hair.
BURN, JOE ROTH. BURN
It adds racial tension, and the bulldog detective work of a veteran police detective. And then it flies to pieces with unmotivated scenes, inexplicable dialogue, and sudden conclusions which may be correct but arrive from nowhere. The film seems edited none too wisely from a longer version that made more sense.
- Roger Ebert
TNT movies are getting worse. Wait. We don't get TNT
Joe Roth, Ladies and germs.
I am requesting movie jump up my butt.
Must be stopped. No matter the cost.
Stop hitting yourself
INEXPLICABLE RACE RIOT!
Julie: I wish I had your heart
Julie: (Claws her way into Sam Jackson's chest)
Chuck: Cover your heart, SAMMY! COVER YOUR HEART!
Blecch. NO TOUCHING!
Gone, but not forgotten.
Sorry, but bad movie make me run out of funny. Makes Homer go something, something....except there's a movie called The Reaping coming soon. Once in a while, it's good to see examples of what not to do. But only once in a while.