Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Ongoing Pussification of American Culture

Uh-huh.

Sure. Go ahead. Great idea.

Retroactively, that would make Casablanca a good hard R. Not to mention that Good Night and Good Luck would become Youth Restricted Viewing at Blockbusters in SoftandMalleable, Nebraska and TieyourShoesforYou, California.

Plus, you'll only be able to find copies of Coffee and Cigarettes off this continent and people will still start smoking early anyway, here, there and everywhere.

One last plus, Demolition Man becomes a PG-13 and is slowly reconsidered to be a prophetic masterwork.

Addendum: The quote in the linked article is attributed to that guiding light of western redemption, decency, and morality, Joe Eszterhas. He also wrote Showgirls.

And finally, I know it's an evil industry. I don't dispute that. Unfortunately, we either outlaw cigarettes entirely, or we simply, at long last, quit our nagging and our overprotective whining over it. Don't want someone you know to die from cigarettes? Me neither. But we make our own beds.

4 comments:

santoritimes said...

coming soon:

rated R for irresponsible consumption of transfat.

rated R for characters failure to properly hydrate.

rated R for wasteful and extravagant use of natural resources.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're legislating the behavior of fictional characters. Wow.

Jesse said...

Remember, before movies and video games, kids didn't smoke or kill one another. And neither did anybody else. Period.

anawinston said...

Dont forget the increased rating of 101 Dalmations!!!!!

SmokincigarettesandwatchinCaptainKangaroo said...

That's exactly what Brock said.