Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Numberous Reasons

To Post. I've had some Margaritas with my brother, and I'm celebrating the first time I've ever posted enough to equal one post per day in a given month.

I guess all it takes is the world to go bugfuck in a variety of ways, but mostly it helps if culture wars are re-ignited, people are consistently fuckin' stupid, and movies and music get an inversely proportional ratio of better-ness to doomsday scenario tickings down.

Holly done removed her enblogged twitterfeed.

I kinda forgot mine was even there, and this dude's been a mainstay at mine and Holly's blogs for over a month now, and I'd hate to be mean, but that ain't my content. I'm gonna have to follow suit, here.

(My twitterness is here case you hankerin' to join.)

I'm not upset about the copycattery. I can handle Holly makin' the right decision first. What I'm jealous of is the video she posted. Here's *hic* that link again, go watch.

I want to post a video (gosh I lurve postin' videos!), though, so here's Fleet Foxes with their vid for White Winter Hymnal

Movie Sign: Shine a Light, Burn After Reading, The Dark Knight

Republicans are stupid now, but weren't then: The Assault on Reason- Al Gore, Lincoln - Gore Vidal

Booty Move: The Twelves, Cumbia (style of), Diplo/Santogold mixtape

Monday, September 29, 2008

Me Bratre

Music awareness this week, thanks to a visit from Brock, my older brother:

Fleet Foxes

She & Him (I finally heard 'em!)

Wilco - Kicking Television: Live in Chicago

Speaking of Wilco and Fleet Foxes, this'll get you a free download of the two bands in concert covering a classic song. In other words, Strife-Gone, apply directly to the earbuds.

Finally, from my brother, I'm unable now to ever ignore Natalie Portman's boyfriend, Devendra Banhart:

That's from the album Cripple Crow

I also want to write a bit about The Twelves, but Blah Blah Blah's got it. Get that podcast.

Your ears can thank me later.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Replace the Original in Our Papers, Pls

I don't care if I'm the last to ever find out about Garfield Minus Garfield, it's effin' brilliant.


Yes. In a better world, yes. We all want Obama to serve McCain's long absent sanity to the Republican candidate in big, chunky bites.

Much as I hate it when I realize this, we ain't in Sorkinland. We're not going to win that way. Not in an America this debased and narcissistic. We're not going to win with an "elitist" strategy. We're not going to win by educating the public. It ain't gonna sway McCain voters.

I say WE keep screaming and yelling. Get it off our chests. Pound our fists. GET ANGRIER. Because we, smarty U.S. Citizens, are humble enough to admit that we don't have the chops for the Presidency, a big part of the many reasons we want to vote for a candidate who does.

In the meantime, it's frustrating to watch Obama not say the things we're thinking. After eight years that actually make me nostalgic ever so slightly for Reagan, I want Barry to throw it at 'em. I really do. Do you honestly believe all of this hasn't occurred to him, though? It has. He knows. He's making a conscious decision. It seems to be working. He looks so steadfast. He looks and (mostly) sounds Presidential. This is showbizzness, whether we like it or not. We want and need to win. He might be doing the right thing.

Either way, Thursday we get to watch the Palin/Biden square-off, truncated though it may be. And it will still be good television.

Aside from all that, just remember, Obama beat the Clintons.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Excellent Point, and Gay

Also, Bill Maher should moderate the debates.


of all people, outperforming every op-ed in America, and delivering it to an audience that might actually listen:

Add to that a guffawing Olbermann, and you've made my night.

Looking onward to my next post, tagged as Nature, I will do a revealing piece about the rare species Guffawing Olbermann. This graceful, hilarious creature has bright blue plumage and chirps loudly to ward off oil barons. Last depicted in the film Ferngully.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

These Women

All told, festival-wise, everyone's saying wow! and huh?!

Couldn't ask for more. Look at that cast.

As for the title, well, Gesundheit.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Well, THAT Almost Makes up for Seasons 5 Through 7, Herr Cold Open

The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.

Yeah. Guess who wrote this for his ex?

Still wishin' for that op-ed zingin' fetus we'll never get.

I Blog Now

Did you know? And if the AV Club is going to keep posting funny videos of cats (cats with helpful sound fx) then I'm going to copy and paste said cats. I think this has something to do with playing with a kitty named Revolver Ocelot, and then watching him chase bunnies. What I'm describing there is a cute quotient I had somehow never imagined.

Also, The Olbermann Cycle, written and directed by Keith Olbermann and starring Keith Olbermann as himself (Defender of hope and small children), Comedien Rush Limbaugh, Bill-O the Clown, and the rest of Fox Noise, coming under cover of wagon to a city near you:

Friday, September 19, 2008

Smooth, Sophisticated Alive-ness

Cigarettes. My one and only. You're gone. Sweet cylindrical ones, you're gone. It's been nine months. Now I know how pregnant smokers feel, obvs (minus birthing a bowling ball sized creature from an opening that sends pain signals to my brain). Except, after the emotional space mountain I've been on since sounding the death knell to all those future coffin nails, I'll never come near you.

There will be no substances in my body that don't do any modicum of good for my mind. I like having better circulation. I really can feel it. It's like something clicked recently, and I don't feel so detached from my body, don't yearn ceaselessly to be twenty years old again, to have all that energy, and never start down such a path of delicious self-ravaging. I still often feel like crap when I wake up in the morning, but that's also getting better.

C'est la vie. 30 is the new 20, and 50 is the new alive for another twenty years after, at least for the men in my family.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Sta Bwoy

Now it's time for that rare music update, because the French and the Canadians are better musicians than the British. Lazy British.

Anyway, shove this in your cochlea.

It's Sta, he's twelve or something, and he's the new vibe. Go figure. Subscribe to the podcast on that site, as well as the Marine Parade Podcast, won't you?

His Blah Blah Blah mix is retro, funky and hip-hoppy. It closes with Breakbot's sublime re-working of Evil Nine's They Live, and you get the bonus of all the joy that leads to it.

If you're heeding my advice, you'll also end up with Sta's September mix, which contains the alarming revelation that Jesus was a B-Boy.

Fuck It, Here's This Cat Video

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Political Monomania (Post 174c0p)

A letter to my Mother:


I'm having a very hard time right now. That much you've seen. I've been depressed and unemployed. I've been unsure of my future. I've been heartbroken in ways that I just can't explain to you. You'd understand if the circumstances resembled the idea of love you accept. Now, I've been told that you probably know certain things, and can accept more than I can imagine, and I'd like to believe that was the case, but I'm skeptical. Skeptical in no small part because you felt that the mild innuendo in Forrest Gump was too racy for a thirteen year old. We were all younger then, but that is still a conversation for a later time, possibly to take place in a different spiritual plane.

You asked me in the car one day if I was listening to what John McCain was saying. If, you asked, you would listen to John McCain, do you think you'd be convinced by him? I bit my tongue in various ways that day, because I didn't want to give you a litany of reasons why you're voting yet again on the wrong side of history. I spoke a small piece to you, but kept most of it inside. I rage it all out on Facebook or here, and get tendentious with teenagers and twenty-somethings, because fuck 'em if they can't take it or think I'm a blowhard.

I literally can't tell you that I had my heart broken last year, because a boy broke that heart (and I was plainly asking for it), and you may never understand or accept that. That level of reality exists in a place that doesn't often vote Republican.

You've voted for two criminal presidents so far, and it seems to me that the only thing you could say in McCain/Bush's defense was, "don't you think they've kept us safe?"

I learned a long time ago that safety probably didn't exist, Mom. If you still live in Nixonland, I can't argue with you to get you out of it. My faith in the idea that your giant powers of denial and repression will be able to withstand certain revelations about me is small. You've needed those powers of denial and repression to handle unspeakable darkness that's confronted all of us. You truly protected us from it. Kept us safe. That's how I know what safe looks like. Still, I can't vote with you, because I'd be voting against myself, but how do I say that to you?

There are other reasons, beyond the personal, in fact, a multitude of reasons, many of them iterated by people smarter than me. Here's the one I've been tooling around with in my head, in light of the recent crop of suburban children who are growing up without the skills, drive, or goals to get anything done in this world:

We live in Oak Ridge. That should give us a deep, historical, almost bodily understanding of the way science shapes the world, society, dreams, goals, and fears. Republicans are an assault on science. We assault science at our own peril. Do we really need an arms race to motivate us into outer space? A conservative arms race shook hands with the progressive, scientific curiosity of the time. Thirteen years before I was born, we beat the world to the moon. Little boys and girls everywhere looked up at their television sets and had the same thought all at once: "I could be an astronaut." Some of them became astronauts. Most of them hit the books and became adults.

I'm trying to imagine what this place would look like if minority children of all stripes were to wake up one day, turn on their televisions, and discover that they too could be President if they worked hard enough. That, deep down, is why plenty of people won't vote for Obama. That's why we've got to win.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I Take it Back

He's not our Limbaugh or O'Reilly or any of 'em. There's no hate speech. Just funny, funny voices. He doesn't really score any points here, but I really want him to do a travelling show. With puppets. I'd pay to see that.

My Favorite Bit From TDS 2005

....or, ok, at least one of my favorite bits:

When You Just Have to Post Something

Random, Crazy and Unhinged will fill space nicely:

Friday, September 12, 2008


At the point which a campaign more or less says the Democratic candidate wants to give sex tips to kindergartners, can we simply repeat the mantra, "One of these campaigns is honorable, and one of them is not"?

Security of Your Shit

Brad Pitt is so great. He really is. I'd like to write more about this, I really would, but for now, I'm just fuming/laughing at their choice of resolution.

How much fun would it be if you could just magically not know this was a Coen Brothers' movie? What fun it would be if, somehow, you could drop in and watch as it slowly dawns on you that no other human beings on the face of the planet could ever tell this kind of story, and obviously this must be Joel and Ethan Coen behind the wheel.

Unmistakably, this is a Coen Brothers movie, which is the same thing but not the same thing as the pleasure of the last one.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Bitch, Learn to Write.

Lou Lumenick, you're a total douchebag, and not even for the usual reasons. Oh no, this time, you're really indefensible.

Update: I suppose the auto de fe I called for on Twitter earlier today will be unnecessary.

Oh, I Agree

Ebes nearly drops trow for Bill Clinton, who, unlike our not-much-longer-President, actually went to the movies, or more accurately, had them sent to, you know, his house.

Warning: I don't know who transcribed the interview, but I'm guessing Emerson.

On A Happier Note (?)

This is so cute, makes me want to fuck Matt Damon:

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I know. It's Keith Olbermann. He could easily be accused of being our Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly. Except, I strongly disagree; Olbermann doesn't shout people down. Rush Limbaugh is a racist, fat old tyrant, but Olbermann, with his bloviating theatricality, his Kabuki-Liberalism, is sometimes, certainly in this case, the only one daring enough in the national media to loudly say some things that need to be said.

The McCain campaign should be ashamed. I remember what I felt on 9/11, assholes. It doesn't change the fact that you're absolutely wrong. Who would use an Al Qaeda recruitment video to win a Presidential Campaign in the U.S.?

Tuesday, September 09, 2008


I'm not going to overdo it. I'm trying not to. But the number one reason I rush to Twitter or Facebook whenever I turn on the teevee, is because there are things that should be shouted at top volume during this campaign that are not being shouted, chief among them, regarding "executive experience" or lack thereof:

You yelping, groaning, backwards, hee-haw IDIOTS (and Mom and Granny, who are not in your low-ness) nominated George W. Bush and voted for him twice. If you want to be taken seriously on the "experience" issue, please make it a habit to not vote for a candidate who can't find his own ass in the dark with the aid of both hands and a flashlight. Kthxbai.

That's my campaign speech. Shut the fuck up and vote for an adult. I'm sorry, is that partisan?

No Comment

Divine Normal

I once saw a person experience this, and not just on youtube. I've never taken a drug that could do that to you and let you go in five minutes flat. Point of fact, I've never taken that many drugs at all. Could point on one hand the number of times.

Here's where I straddle the fence: Drugs. I don't believe anyone has the right to tell me what to put in my body, be it hallucinogenic or otherwise, and on and on. I also don't push at all for it to be decriminalized. We're not ready for that, and most of 'em are too dangerous anyway. If I had my way, yeah sure, but I don't really care. Seems like the more therapeutic ones are destined to be the stuff of adolescent thrill-seeking or instant levity.

Why am I bringing this up?

Because, I am now one of two people I know personally (that I'm aware of, OK?) who's seen McCabe & Mrs. Miller, and I'm pretty sure it's a schedule 1 narcotic. It ends on a note of perfect exaltation belying great pain, an exaltation no doubt brought about by Miller's (Julie Christie's) opium use. I won't explain or spoil what drives her to it at the very end.

Suffice it to say, stare into an Altman film long enough, and it can pull you out of your own pain or problems, possibly help you contemplate the value of people and some value in yourself you may be missing. In short, his films have a restorative property, albeit experienced finitely.

Wander through the amniotic settings of his films, just for a bit. Everything's seen in a kind of liquid. Safe. It's like floating without floating, all without dulling yourself through overuse of your particular fix.

Altman himself was certainly no stranger to frequent drug use, I know, but we reap unusual benefits from the explorations he took into the palaces of his mind.

Pauline Kael wrote of McCabe & Mrs. Miller:

Can an American director get by with a movie as personal as this--personal not as in "personal statement" but in the sense of giving form to his own feelings, some not quite defined, just barely suggested? A movie like this isn't made by winging it...

Altman at his best was never just winging it. He's our shamen, he's there for our spiritual assistance to this day, even when his films show clear contempt for human pettiness. That's all surface dressing for him, part of the display, the movement. We really shouldn't waste the truly beneficial highs. There are so few of them. Here's one.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

A List

- I managed to alienate a few conservative friends this week writing a shaken note on Facebook during Wednesday's Republican Roll-Call of hate speech.

- Obviously I didn't believe it had a snowball's chance in hell of convincing anybody not already convinced that a Palin/Dead Guy administration would destroy this country once and for all.

- I wondered even as I was posting it if I was going too far, since people don't want to be told who to vote for and some often don't even reveal their own political views because they'd rather just be friends. Plus, who the hell do I think I am?

- I saw a handful of friends comment (on facebook) on the RNC during its scoffing at public service, hating on gays, and its keeping the 'N' word out of the air solely due to political correctness constraints. Mostly, though, I've seen much more numerous comment about how the new facebook sucks, and even saw one group extolling our need to "come together" to force them to keep it the way it is. That's what we need to come together on?

- I don't know if it's because we're over-saturated with politics and everybody's already made up their minds, or if people really, really don't care. I'm sure it's a different answer for everyone. I'm making no judgments, since I can't conclude anything from any of that.

- I have an endless desire to see film criticism at once as sophisticated as it used to be and much more popular than it is now.

- I'm about to be (possibly) the only person I know who's seen McCabe and Mrs. Miller.

- These things is all true.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Dear Rich White Millionaires

Hi, please don't pretend you're not a part of the elite, and stop calling me a part of the elite just because I don't vote to protect your pocketbook, prohibiting you from affording the gold flavored cocaine that most certainly floats around your parties. I'm unemployed, lived off the dole to go school, and am currently looking into graduate school with an eye towards making not nearly as much money as you.

Shut the fuck up and then die in a fire.


An Ethicist.

America Needs a Grownup

So, let me get this straight (Political Post a175b0):

John Kerry runs for President and his war record is smeared in ways both shameless and downright mendacious, but General Wesley Clark is vilified for daring to suggest that a stay at the Hanoi Hilton does not a President make? Clark's statement was reasoned and saintly compared to what they did to John Kerry. It's also meritorious on account of it being, you know, true.

Also, what kind of President would McCain make if he's enough of a fucking 72 year old man-child to cancel Larry King over this?

Let's vote for Grownups in 2008.

Monday, September 01, 2008


If last year's award season wasn't enough, it turns out that apocalyptic times also produce brilliant summer movies.

Not that you needed any reminding, but it's worth cataloguing:

Iron Man
The Dark Knight
Hellboy II
Pineapple Express
Tropic Thunder
Hamlet 2 (can't recommend that one highly enough. It's unbridled genius)

Of course, those are mostly the biggest hits of the summer (we've all forgotten there was an Indiana Jones movie this year).

On the other Indy front, there have been quiet films released that included two with Ben Kingsley (Elegy, The Wackness), Herzog's Encounters at the End of the World, as well as The Edge of Heaven, Man on Wire, and Guy Maddin's My Winnipeg. Depending on where you were, you caught these between your Batman screenings, or perhaps you're about to get them.

Of course, I listed three comedies, failing to include M. Night Shyamalan's howler from the very start of summer. Funny, funny stuff, Manoj, and don't worry, you won't catch us eying your lemon-drink much longer.

Most years, we'd have had movies about as good (but usually not) as The Incredible Hulk, which itself was really (thankfully) a prelude to the greatest superhero movie of all time. Before that, with Iron Man, we got the second greatest. Maybe it's better to conclude that we witnessed the greatest Marvel movie and the greatest DC movie that we're ever going to, respectively.

Aside from that, it'd be a shame to forget the greatest animated movie I've seen since at least Finding Nemo, Pixar's beautiful, timely, ethical, mind-expanding visual masterpiece (perhaps their greatest visual work), Wall*E. If there was a film of more character, conscience and decency released in the recent past I can't remember it, and I dare you to.

The industry has attempted to cloud this otherwise brilliant, rich, character filled summer season with mummies and disaster movies and dangerous bangkoks, but audiences for those films have short, stoned, adolescent memories (though Pineapple Express probably served them well)

American films are back.