Monday, March 30, 2009

Here You Go, Gossiping Nits

Take a few pages of this...

...and shut the fuck up in the morning.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Who's Bitching the Watchmen?

In lieu of a legit review, here's Ten Criticisms of Watchmen that annoy me:

It's too long (You knew the running time before you walked in. What exactly was so precious about the time you lost?)

It's not enough like the book!

It's too faithful to the book!

The Cold War Nuclear Scare is outdated.

It's ultraviolent fanboy trash!

It's cynical!

Oh God, Hallelujah again? (I mean, overplayed, yes, but not the Leonard Cohen version so much, certainly not the passages of the song we got, and anyway, get over it)

Bob Dylan? Is that all you could think of?

Boring! (Seriously, what does it take, America? Do you not like movies that much? I invite you to a screening of Tarkovsky's Stalker)

I shouldn't have to read the book to understand the movie (Why not? The movie makes perfect sense, it's not in un-subtitled Farsi).

Some criticisms I agree with:

Malin Akerman could've been a lot better (Though Matthew Goode in and of himself was fine. The filmmakers made character choices that run counter to the book in some ways, and Goode is for some reason being blamed. I thought his insouciance was fun).

The Comedian rape scene was a bit much.

The film could be baffling to the uninitiated. (but bear with it. It comes together, and plays even more lucidly a second time.)

The old person makeup seems right out of this Genesis video.

I don't believe a movie has to be some kind of exact transcription of its source material, but having said that, I agree with the notion that this movie actually deepens our understanding and connection to the book. For a patient, loving, and fan-based breakdown of book vs. movie, look no further than this piece.

It's far from a perfect movie. It is at times close to being a grand folly. Still, it comes together. It brings us images we've never really seen, even if we have read the book. The Dr. Manhattan origin story is flawlessly accomplished, spine tingling and utterly breathtaking. Jackie Earl Haley deserves every acting award there is for his Rorschach.

What do we look for in the movies? This film offers an American god, a right-wing vigilante kicking ass in a prison, a startling, provocative re-imagining of American political and social history, and an ambitious meditation on the path America has taken. It rivals The Dark Knight and JFK, if that's possible.

Also, what is going on with critics everywhere complaining about the film's Cold War era nuclear paranoia? Umm. This wasn't that long ago. We were most of us here during this one. We have nukes. Iran will have nukes soon, and North Korea and Pakistan do to this day, so to me this is still a VERY pertinent issue. If it's not a possibility that we might be teaching kids to hide under their desks again in the near future, why was Iran such a big deal during last year's campaign? (and less dramatically, what the hell is wrong with doing a period piece?)

For those who attempt to deflate the movie by saying it is needlessly violent and presents us with characters who believe that violence is the only answer, I ask you, do you read the news on a daily basis? I don't necessarily agree with these characters, but embracing their attitudes can put us in a reflective mode. I really do like dramas that give us clashing worldviews. These characters' plights inspire pity and terror. Which is what ancient dramas used to do.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Where the Wild Things Beat Your Ass Down

Bullshit. None of us has seen the movie. The song in the trailer was one thing, but it was not merely a music video we were all responding to. I saw some stills from this one several months ago, and I got chills from that alone.

Spike Jonze directed Being John Malkovich, Adaptation and the Sabotage video. You hold your cynical, unimaginative tongues until the movie comes out, you yapping, group-thinking hollywood scrooges.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Yeah yeah, I don't care if you've seen this five or six times in five or six different places, you're going to see it at my house too.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sui Generis

Nathan Rabin over at the AVClub just did a Case Flop on Dirty Work, reminding me of my theory that Americans should love Norm MacDonald.

Here's some evidence to support that theory:

...and here's absolute proof:

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Digested enough music lately? I didn't think so.

The weekend gave us a comprehensive and relentless Essential Mix from Fake Blood, a producer I've been slowly gaining a dependence on. This mix is well worth the two hours.

If you're looking for something gnarlier, Crookers is here to help with a decidedly unusual approach to a set list. Get it here.

Open up yer iTunes and click on this rightcheere

That's the Marine Parade podcast, and last week Alex Metric's March mix came out, with a relatively new track from Zombie Nation, a remix by Metric of Ladyhawke's Paris is Burning, and a sneak of his new Head Straight EP. One track from the EP is the midpoint of the set, and it's called What Now? AND IT WILL OWN YOU.

Other than that, here's some freebies:

Alex Metric remix of Freeland's new track.

Evil Nine's giving away their own remix of Icicles if you just sign up.

Finally, because I can't resist, here's a coupla these here embedded pickins, though you shoulda heard Metronomy's Heartbreaker by now (or there's no decency in radio), and A-Trak's latest remix is just quite sex.

Happy Snake Whackin' Day.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Watch Dis

Patton Oswalt, ever wise, ever true.

I'll write more about Watchmen later, but suffice it to say, and contrary to most film critics in this country, it's a breathtaking movie.

Wading through all the rustling complaints, nitpicks and misinterpretations attempting to deflate Snyder's accomplishment, I'm tempted to wonder if so called fans of movies and comic books really love the respective mediums at all.

All those completely inured of the capacity for awe really should avoid the flickering arts.

Friday, March 06, 2009

If Dis Don't Make Yer Booty Move

You've probably all seen this, but I must save it and watch it again and again.

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

Tracklist, for the posterity of your posterior:

001. Heart of Glass / Blondie
002. Jimmy / M.I.A.
003. Deceptacon / Le Tigre
004. Im on Fire / 5000 Volts
005. Je Veux Te Voir / YELLE
006. The Way I Are / Timbaland
007. Too Young / Phoenix
008. Over And Over / Hot Chip
009. Stick It To The Pimp / Peaches
010. Say My Name / Destiny's Child
011. Pin / Yeah Yeah Yeahs
012. Geremia / Bonde Do Role
013. Let Me Clear My Throat / DJ Kool
014. Point Of No Return / Expose
015. Bubble Sex / The Seebach Band
016. Pump Up the Jam / Technotronic
017. Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above / CSS
018. Hella Nervous / Gravy Train
019. Me Plus One / Annie
020. Don't Go / Yaz
021. Bootylicious / Destiny's Child
022. Electric Feel / MGMT
023. Boys Don't Cry / The Cure
024. Lose Control / Missy Elliott
025. Ride The Lightning / Evans And Eagles
026. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough / Michael Jackson
027. Hearts On Fire / Cut Copy
028. Tainted Love / Soft Cell
029. Between Us & Them / Moving Units
030. It Feels Good / Tony Toni Tone
031. Polaris (Club Mix) / Cyber People
032. You Never Can Tell / Chuck Berry
033. Huddle Formation / The Go! Team
034. Pump That / FannyPack
035. My Love / Justin Timberlake
036. Hung Up / Madonna
037. Justice - D.A.N.C.E (MSTRKRFT Remix) / Justice
038. Cybernetic Love / Casco
039. Creep / TLC
040. When I Hear Music / Debbie Deb
041. B.O.B. / Outkast
042. Bubble Pop Electric / Gwen Stefani
043. Miss You Much / Janet Jackson
044. You Spin Me Round / Dead Or Alive
045. Slide In / Goldfrapp
046. Kelly / Van She
047. Mine Fore Life / The Sounds
048. Disco Heat / Calvin Harris
049. Nighttiming / Coconut Records
050. Club Action / Yo Majesty
051. Pogo / Digitalism
052. Lip Gloss / Lil Mama
053. Heartbeats / The Knife
054. Enola Gay / OMD
055. Goodbye Girls / Broadcast
056. Kids In America / Kim Wilde
057. Kiss / Prince
058. Tenderness / General Public
059. Push It / Salt N Pepa
060. Circle, Square, Triangle / Test Icicles
061. Day 'N' Nite (Crookers Remix) / Kid Cudi
062. Shadows / Midnight Juggernauts
063. Paris (Aeroplane Remix) / Friendly Fires
064. Out At The Pictures / Hot Chip
065. Me Myself and I / De La Soul
066. AudioTrack 10 / Diplo
067. Girls & Boys / Blur
068. Heater / Samim
069. I Wanna Dance With Somebody / Whitney Houston
070. Hands In The Air / Girl Talk
071. Limited Edition OJ Slammer / Cadence Weapon
072. Meeting In The Ladys Room / Mary Jane Girls
073. NY Lipps / Soulwax
074. Lex / Ratatat
075. Gravity's Rainbow (Soulwax Remix) / Steve Aoki
076. Once In A Lifetime / Talking Heads
077. Leave It Alone / Operator Please
078. Half Mast / Empire Of The Sun
079. Hardcore Girls / Count and Sinden feat. Rye Rye
080. Dance, Dance, Dance / Lykke Li
081. Never Gonna Get It / En Vogue
082. Blue Monday / New Order
083. Crazy In Love (Featuring Jay-Z) / Beyoncé
084. 10 Dollar / M.I.A.
085. Love To Love You Baby / Donna Summer
086. Steppin' Out / Lo-Fi-Fnk
087. Karle Pyar Karle / Asha Bhosle
088. Love Will Tear Us Apart / Joy Division
089. Straight Up / Paula Abdul
090. My Drive Thru / Santogold, Casablancas, NERD
091. Like A Prayer / Madonna
092. Freedom 90 / George Michael
093. Black & Gold / Sam Sparro
094. B-O-O-T-A-Y / Spank Rock and Benny Blanco
095. Great Dj / The Ting Tings
096. In A Dream / Rockell
097. Don't Stop the Music / Rihanna
098. Hong Kong Garden / Siouxsie & The Banshees
099. It's Tricky / D.M.C.
100. Bizarre Love Triangle / New Order