Even Though You Liked Cop and a Half....

I wish I could be there.

*beep* You Wanna Hear that New Fatboy Song?: Bloc Party, Groove Armada
Readin': My Ass Off
Because You're Different: The Science of Sleep, Solo Con Tu Pareja, Rome, Grindhouse

I Think He Took His Wallet

And just like that, all of my undergraduate writing was done. Weird.
I swear this place'll be more than just a sporadic writin' hole. I'll get back in the game when I'm finally permitted to take my burnt-out mind back from the grasp of this collegiosity.
Also, more mojo. Much more. Stay tuned, America.

Chance.

By chance, you and I are all right. Others aren't. I wasn't going to say anything, but then I looked about and felt that there was a chain going, so here's my link to it.

I'll bet even the numb among us touched the ground to see if it was still there yesterday. Some of us lost that ground, and my thoughts are with them.

On My Birthday!

Yep

He's up in Heaven now

Well...

Existentialist? I Hardly Even Know H-Glarbblech *Sock Stuffed In Mouth by Overhearing Passerby*

Oof...That was not a fresh sock.

Ok, but I deserved that.

Yes, it'll be one of those.

And by that I mean a vaguely variable post to be glossed by the readership as it likes.

Things are coming to a head ever sooner than one would like, and I'm beset on all sides by those farther advanced.

Exemplum: To be emulated.

(N)ever fear.

Soon, I'll be graduated. If I have the wherewithal in me to move soon thereafter, I'll do it, but no promises on the horizon (much less concrete destinations to attach to promises unformed). Until then, I have three papers to write, and dozens more things to pen in the future.

I have good exempla, in forms both terrestrial and otherwise. And more experience (though noon auctoritee) than I'll typically admit myself to. Good Start.


Enditynge!: Great Expectations, The Wyf of Bath, The Reve, The Franklin, The Pardoner, The Physician
Pretty Good, and So Far, Meh: The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, Rome
Aural: Transmissions from the Satellite Heart
Oral: Claritin

...With His Giant, Hammy Fists

Ok, I'll admit it, I've been lazy. See, I (kinda) watched the pilot for the Haggisly retread of all things gangster.*

Then, realizing that the show was too much of a chore to actually sit through, I just left the job of evisceration entirely up to Holly (who was being employed to write up the hit either way).

See, I even had an opportunity last week to watch it live with her and co-eviscerate. Unfortunately, I've been too meh and lazy about the whole blarney-less fiasco to summon the will. She, on the other hand...

She did us all a service on that front.

And she won the war.

Bravo, on all recent counts, Devotchka.

And to all other mediocrities, be forewarned: World's gettin' smaller for you. All Hell's A Comin'


*Did they actually think they could get away with cribbing Gordon Willis's cinematography? Don't they know that you simply don't try that unless you are in fact Gordon Willis?

This is the Last Clip for Awhile, Honest.

Franzoooonnne!

30 Years of Solitude

Oh, To Live in London

T'would make it possible to be closer to the scene, nearer to this esteemed, old school caner

Pull My Finger

I'm so sick and tired of hearing that Children of Men supposedly left something out. Do you need every little detail spelled out for you, critics, flaky audience members? I'm not sure it's inherently a flaw to simply emphasize certain details over others. In fact, it's part of the writer's as well as the director's job! If I could get a list of specific dystopian circumstances that the film doesn't cover which would've had some bearing on the momentum of the narrative, then I'll take those criticisms seriously.

Until then, if you want an essay on dystopia viz infertility, mapped out like a damned textbook, then go find/write one yourself. The film may have some inherent flaws, but so does Apocalypse Now.

Is perfection really what you want? Are these same harping malcontents the ones that made 300 a far more successful film? I can only speculate.

P.S. By the way, before you start, I actually quite liked 300 for what it was, but it's earned three times as much as Children of Men, is in possession of far less vision, and is riddled with many, many more inconsistencies, historical bunglings and unfortunate choices.


Semaphore: Wuthering Heights, The Franklin's Tale, The Merchant's Tale

Paraffin Station: Planet Funk

A Tasty Little Dish: The Magic Flute

Also, Before I Sleep

Caught this the other night and thought it was pretty funny. Stick with it 'til the end. It's funnier than you'd think. Just ask Holly

Why Do You Hate Freedom? Land?

Let me count the ways. Starting very, very soon.
I'll backstory this a little:
A while back, I was bedevilled into renting Freedomland by a friend of mine. I've finally acquiesced so as to receive conversation from him that deviates from the "have you seen it yet, oh god it's so terrible" territory.

This better suck.
I've never "live-blogged" an "event" before, but the kids these days seem to love it, and since I'm cranky, this will be sporadically interesting.

In light of recent Joe Roth developments, feel free to interrupt me at ANY TIME. I don't want to give this movie the impression that it's more than a movie loaf. But I pre-judge. Time to find my play button. Hush.

6:42 PM

I'M GOING TO ASSUME

..... seeing as how Samuel Jackson usually changes his hair pretty dramatically, that this time it's simply grown out into the shape of that hat. I'll let you know if he ever takes it off.

Also, I haven't yet seen a snake.


6:48 PM

STOP HITTING YOURSELF

Sheer Lunacy


6:57 PM

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN EDIT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD

One edit per syllable. One edit per


6:57 PM

MILLISECOND!

Jesus!


6:59 PM

...well...his partner just called him Big Daddy


7:02 PM

HE'S MY SON

You FUCK!


7:05 PM

FUCK ME?

You son of a bitch, I'll show you fuck me!

Did I get drunk and write a screenplay again?


7:06 PM

LIKE, YOU KNOW

At Erin's house? Just sayin'


7:09

YUM




7:14 PM

THAT HAT

Is still there.


7:18 PM

STOP HITTING YOURSELF!

I mean, I know much of what I'm saying here is only for the benefit of myself and those who've seen it, so apologies in advance.


7:21 PM

WELL....

There goes the hair.


7:39 PM

BURN, JOE ROTH. BURN

It adds racial tension, and the bulldog detective work of a veteran police detective. And then it flies to pieces with unmotivated scenes, inexplicable dialogue, and sudden conclusions which may be correct but arrive from nowhere. The film seems edited none too wisely from a longer version that made more sense.

- Roger Ebert


8:59 PM

TNT movies are getting worse. Wait. We don't get TNT


9:07 PM

Joe Roth, Ladies and germs.
I am requesting movie jump up my butt.


9:14 PM

JULIANNE MOORE

Must be stopped. No matter the cost.

Stop hitting yourself


9:16 PM

Gay


9:20 PM

INEXPLICABLE RACE RIOT!


9:26 PM

Julie: I wish I had your heart

Sammy: Huh

Julie: (Claws her way into Sam Jackson's chest)

Chuck: Cover your heart, SAMMY! COVER YOUR HEART!


9:28 PM

Blecch. NO TOUCHING!


9:33 PM

Gone, but not forgotten.

Sorry, but bad movie make me run out of funny. Makes Homer go something, something....except there's a movie called The Reaping coming soon. Once in a while, it's good to see examples of what not to do. But only once in a while.

Be My Head

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20015535,00.html

What a weird week it's already been.

Oh, Despotic Codswallop

Joe Roth, director of: Freedomland, Xmas with the Cranks, and others.

Julie Taymor: Julie Taymor

This could be worse than the Brazil "Love Conquers All" fiasco of '86.

I will have a review of Freedomland up fairly soon. There will be blood.

Have You Ever Lied?

Ladies and Bastards.....
You saw awhile back how Holly had artfully arranged the disarray of a series of posts at a sports board. I'm cribbing her style, and applying it to IMDB message board posters, those compulsive illiterati, those sultans of prosody. The result is below; I've left everything in its original state (i.e., original spelling, punctuation, vitriol), save for my rearrangement in an attempt at defining the average IMDB messageboard user.

Amazingly, many of them were spelling and making sense more accurately than I could've imagined. Made my job slightly harder. I may have to move on to a breaks board. We all know them fans can't spell.
Our subject for Today's Poetic Endeavour:

Ghost Rider

So, if there was an infinite amount of time before right now, would we have ever
reached this moment in time?
Norbit P/DW $63,092,521
I did think he thought 52 million popsicles.

If I promise to give you a chocolate bar after an infinite amount of time, will I
ever give you the chocolate bar?
Face/Off, Lord of War, City of Angels, Moonstruck & Raising Arizona.
RUBBISH FILMS AND HE WAS RUBBISH IN ALL THOSE
dam things not on the soundtrack

and the fact i drive on those roads almost evry day
did ghost rider jump out of the screen and cock slap you
it boggles my mind how god damn retarded you are,
Vic Mackey is God, Jack Bauer is his angel of death!

bulletproof monk was a comic book? i did not know that
i loved his voice and pointing as well
there is no reason to see this film.

Have you ever lied? That makes you a liar.
they sould ahev got him to change sooner and delelops more of a battle between the
to sides
Needed at least one more scene with Peter Fonda
if only for the fact that i will never feel him inside me...

All 3 things, matter, time, and space, come into existence at the same time.
No, I don't wanna hear that because my sister's a hermaphrodite.
She has a penis.
You basically f#cked a dude.
haha

Nicholas Cage is stronger than me now.
also girls, Just wonderin, I dont hang out alot in public,
Im actually kind of shy,
Im just wonderin if I am at all good looking.
Cute, handsome whatever.

Addendum: I have gone to the trouble of making them less coherent. It's for our benefit, perhaps. Take from this what you will, but I have to post something while I'm on vacation. Cheers

Teehee. Country Laugh.

Take Your Stupid Mask

They...

...What do I do now? I've seen the best parts....

I Loved You When It Was Cool!

From a NYTimes article making the claim that The Departed won because the industry was trying to take back big name glory from the Indie-Scene:

It was less poignant than telling that these four men, Mr. Scorsese included, were onstage together, having become what they once assailed. They are the establishment, and they are not ready to cede the field to a moshed-up world of indies and global filmmakers.

Well, yes, at least two of those guys are truly powerful, but there's a reason for that.
But I take a bit of umbrage towards the assertion that these guys are some kind of powerful monolith standing in the way of Indie recognition. When was the last time George Lucas won a screenwriting or directing award? Heh. Coppola garnered his first awards by making The Godfather, and has virtually no power (for multiple reasons).
Spielberg and Lucas are truly powerful, but they don't award themselves.
To make movies on the level that these directors envision requires quite a bit of clout, one way or the other.

As for the indies and the internationals: There are always more bad films than good. Indie (or international) does not equal better by default. Let's not forget that.

Even if The Departed is just an excellent example of a popcorn movie (it's more than that), then we can only concede that that is very much a good thing.

A win for this one is an opportunity for better films to be made overall, in theory.

The only way these key filmmakers from the early 70s American scene gained their current prominence was by learning how to make movies that are as riveting as Scorsese's winner. Period.

Jesus, thirty seconds after Scorsese finally wins an Oscar he's labeled "The Establishment"

Well...

This makes up for last year.