Friday, January 25, 2008

Cesspool of Imbecility

Having posted on Facebook, strangely enough, my reaction to John Gibson's unbelievably shameless and incsrutably mean-spirited mocking of Heath Ledger's death (not to mention Ledger's portrayal of a certain laconic cowboy), I stopped for a second.

I won't un-post the note, but to write one so topically is uncharacteristic of me. It occurred to me that I've hated the very fact of Gibson's career for many years.

He would be on in the living room on a daily basis, and my loving Mom and Granny seemed to agree with him. He lost me upon sight, but I remember being sold on the need for a good tar-application to him when he listed Star Wars as a possible cause of Columbine-style violence, because they use laser guns in those movies.

Before, I felt he should've been fired for relentless mediocrity. Now, since Imus got fired (deservedly) for his racial slur, Gibson should be fired for his homophobic mockery. Which is what it was. As one article I read helpfully points out, this guy was mocking a straight man (well, two, including Gyllenhaal) for even playing gay.

We really should use mediocrity as grounds for dismissal, but if what it takes is stuff like this, maybe they'll all be dumb enough to weed themselves out.

But if this isn't enough of a slur on behalf of the minority I'm a part of, then Imus might as well get his job back.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Tak, tady jsme v Another Dimension

So, I'm gonna remind you to go here and keep up with Andrew's unspooling translation of good Karel's work (with, apparently, an editorially imposed transition from encroaching death to sudden whimsy? I think I missed a day, but am going back now).

Seriously, Andrew's Fable Farming is some mighty good work. Good for the humours, the blood pressure, and all that ails you.

Muzak Make You Lose Control: Once soundtrack

I'll Die With Monsters From Hell: There Will Be Blood, Dexter - Season One, Ace In The Hole, The Good Shepherd, Atonement

Finally Reading It All: The Stand

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Obligatory Oscar Prognosticatin'

The Oscars mean something this year, but only because it's this year.

Yeah, it's been an arty year, but everything I've seen's been pretty damn good art, so far. I mean, if it turns people onto seein' stuff from this list that they might otherwise not be compelled to see, then maybe their darkness will be alleviated by some light (or darkened by headier darkness).

Go ahead and give it to Daniel DAY Lewis, please. He's more than just his left foot, in case you didn't know.

Can't speak for the leading women, and haven't seen enough from the littler women.

Javier Bardem got here the same way the coin did, and you'll give 'em up to two real boogeymen if you know what's good for you.

The directing category just made me pee a little. Give it to PTA. No, the Coens! Nuh uh, Jason Reitman, stay out, you're pretty, but they'll EAT YOU UP with their toothy fists.

Cinematography goes to Robert Elswit for There Will Be Blood.

But Atonement could win for its Dunkirk segment alone, whether I want Elswit to win or not. Elswit should win for all his work with PTA, but that Dunkirk scene, on its own, is better than the rest of Atonement and many, many films I've seen. I'm exceedingly torn on that.

The Coens win the Editing award. The Coens WIN THE EDITING AWARD. Do not pull an Emmanuel Lubezki on us this year like you did the last.

Original Song better be the one from Once. Seriously.

All the Best Picture Noms are good. Well, I haven't seen Michael Clayton, but I will pretty soon. I've heard it's good from all the right sources.

Juno? I loved it dearly. It lives up to its Little Miss Sunshine hype the way LMS didn't.

It won't beat No Country or Blood. It can't.

Unfortunately, that's because those two movies are too unconventional, violent and trippy for the Academy, and will be beaten by Atonement, which is also more, you know, Academy than any of the others.

Well, maybe not, but who cares. Great year. Great.

Also, to the Googlers and the Askjeevesers and the Yahoos, if you want to know whether or not Christopher Plummer is gay, go upstairs, because I'm in percussion down here, and can't answer your question. He's probably crying because he didn't get nominated again, so I better not ask.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Ok, Roger

What's up for grabs is whether or not There Will Be Blood is a great movie. I say it is, in spite of certain imperfections. Repeated viewing will reveal the movie more.

However, to take issue with your three parenthetical complaints, i.e:

1) Unbending characters, 2) Lack of women or any reflection of normal society, and 3) its relentlessness.

Well, ok.

1) Horror's horror. We've had an unbending president, haven't we? Topicality does not make one great, but monsters such as Plainview (and Eli Sunday) have existed and still do, and are worth studying.

2) The Godfather

3) There's something to be said for burning even longer than you have the fuel for. The last 20 minutes of this movie are more surprising (and in retrospect inevitable) than any rain of frogs, a twist which I loved, you loved, and was ten times more of a reach.

It's still a pretty accurate description of the movie, Ebes.
And yeah, it's certainly up for grabs whether or not this kind of thing is enjoyable to watch.

But I've never seen anything like it, and that's been happening more often lately.

Thursday, January 10, 2008


I've stumbled upon some workins from a lab. I sneaked in clandestinely (fine, I was alerted).

Before the inevitable explosions and village terrorizings begin, I figure I can sneak you in and let you decide whether or not you'll want to be brandishing pitchforks or boards with nails in them.

It's likely, however, that after the creature reaches unity, you'll want to thank Andrew, and have him send you a hard copy.

Whatever you decide, it'll be a pleasure for me and you alike to get daily or so doses of an unfolding translation of Bajky a podpovídky (Fables and Understories by Karel Capek)

It tasty.

Movies are My God Now (Again): Margot at the Wedding, Eastern Promises, Charlie Wilson's War, Once, The River, Bonnie and Clyde

About To Choke a Bitch Unless: There Will Be Blood

Probably Perfect: In Rainbows - Radiohead

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Thank You For Smoking

Dear Nicotine Withdrawal Symptoms,

Hi! You may remember me as that guy that caused your existence, both by smoking in the first place, and then by removing my precious 10-15 nails of a coffin a day from my body, fairly soon after.

I did some research, guided mostly by the unparalleled fatigue I've been enduring on your behalf for the past month, and have discovered, unless I miss my guess, that your existence is prolonged by industry insistence on keeping you alive, a fiend to so succumb to, as would indicate this Boston Globe Article.

Apparently, the first time I endured you would've been the best time to have been the last time to endure you, but no matter now.

Don't worry. Your time is short. Trust me. I'm infinitely bitchier than you are. You really know not the genes with which you fuck.


Jesse and His Dynamic Genetic Material.

Apropos of Nothing, but if I don't get a chance to see There Will Be Blood fucking but soon, I'm going to get really, really ENVIOUS.