Sunday, January 06, 2008

Thank You For Smoking

Dear Nicotine Withdrawal Symptoms,

Hi! You may remember me as that guy that caused your existence, both by smoking in the first place, and then by removing my precious 10-15 nails of a coffin a day from my body, fairly soon after.

I did some research, guided mostly by the unparalleled fatigue I've been enduring on your behalf for the past month, and have discovered, unless I miss my guess, that your existence is prolonged by industry insistence on keeping you alive, a fiend to so succumb to, as would indicate this Boston Globe Article.

Apparently, the first time I endured you would've been the best time to have been the last time to endure you, but no matter now.

Don't worry. Your time is short. Trust me. I'm infinitely bitchier than you are. You really know not the genes with which you fuck.

Sincerely,

Jesse and His Dynamic Genetic Material.

Apropos of Nothing, but if I don't get a chance to see There Will Be Blood fucking but soon, I'm going to get really, really ENVIOUS.

2 comments:

The Earthtopus said...

Oh, smoking. Why does my body still think you're a good idea at all?

The Earthtopus said...

Also, cars=huuuuuuuuge money holes.