Thursday, November 19, 2009

"Line"

I've been standing askance of Twilight since I discovered what it even was in the first place. I was content for awhile not to have any dog (or wolf) in that fight, while being basically sympathetic to the common-sense feminist complaints against Meyer's Teenage Chastity Porn with a Mormon Agenda™.

Its underlying themes of sex without touching, of abject attachment, of co-dependence, of deep, black snake moan need at all times for a superhuman man to protect you, the obsession with Edward, the constant description of....

...well, I've read detailed take-downs from people who've read the book so I didn't have to, and this is a damned good one: (part 1) (part 2)

For a surprise, read through this interview and you'll discover that Kristen Stewart is thoughtful enough to see what's wrong with Edward and Bella's relationship:

You have to question their (Bella and Edward's) motivations - to watch two people so unhealthily devoted to each other.

'The weirdest f**king themes run through this story - like dominance and masochism.'

This thoughtfulness doesn't preclude her staying on for the set-for-life status, and frankly, who could blame her?

So, other people, I should say mostly women, have fought this fight, and I've stayed out of it. Until now. Because this shit just gets creepier and creepier, and I can't ignore it anymore. I would say that most of the women I sell the books to at my bookstore are thirty-five or older. And this used to be all about Edward, but it's not now.

Like I just said, I work at a bookstore. I work at a corporate bookstore. I had never heard of Jon and Kate and the cabbages until I started working in a spot near the tabloids. I see all the trash. Less than five feet from where I work we have the Taylor Lautner bookmarks. We can barely keep them in the store.

Ladies, here's Lautner's IMDB page.

Look closely. Need help? Allow me:

11 February 1992

Guess what that means!

It's not about Edward anymore. It's all about Jacob.

And you are all pedophiles.


But your condition gave me the opportunity to laugh at this, so thanks!

10 comments:

Erin said...

Indeed...I just don't understand how much people love this. I can understand wanting a sappy love story, but this is not it. It says nothing positive about women, relationships, etc. And yes, the love for someone born after 1990 is just creepy....

Plaid Avenger said...

Yeah, I tried to ignore it for two years, but this is just perverse.

Anonymous said...

This a story of How love can Transcend physical bounds. How can you find wrong in that? Why is it bad to be pure, and to experience the purity of earnest, honest love?

Plaid Avenger said...

If you want a story about love transcending physical bounds, I recommend Ishiguro's The Remains of the Day.

There's a story about two people who really can't "have" each other.

I recommend you read it and tell me what you think happens in it.

And as far as earnest, "pure" love, many a terrible act has been motivated by sincerity and "purity".

Plaid Avenger said...

In the meantime, you can keep rubbing one out to your 17 year old Boy Wolf-God, or whatever "pure" idea of romance Stephenie Meyer's selling to you this week.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I haven't read the books, I just saw the movies, but I liked them. I like the novelization of the themes about love you can't have.

And remains of the day was boring. Too long.

Andrew said...

You seen "Three Wolf Moon?"

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924837

heeeee

Plaid Avenger said...

That makes up for so much. So much.

Erin said...

P.S. - http://chud.com/articles/articles/21684/1/THE-DEVIN039S-ADVOCATE-WHY-BREAKING-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html?72

Plaid Avenger said...

SOLD