Friday, November 06, 2009

Idiot Food

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I've just had somebody tell me that Beck's viewers don't buy into his claims completely, that it's just entertainment. I would urge against that kind of apologia, because first of all, yes, many, many of them do, including members of my family who snatch up every book he recommends and parrot out things to me they've heard him say on the hate channel. Same goes for the countless people who walk through my checkout line, buying his "books", some spouting off to me and others in line about how today's young better listen to this righteous man.

But the most pressing advice I can think of to urge against this apologia is that plain garbage should be avoided, no matter how "entertaining" it might be for appealing to your basest instincts.

Beck's show is poisoning the body politic, three million scant viewers (as compared to overall population) or not. He has every right to host his own show and spout off as much crazy shit as he can think of. But that doesn't mean it's harmless. Everyone should actively curb intellectual and cognitive pollution. It's easily as harmful as any other kind.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Outrageous! No Respect!

So say those who possess rights which I do not yet, in Tennessee, possess.



(Via)

Monday, November 02, 2009

Future Music

Future Music.



Future Music.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

It Is NOT Too Scary For Your Kids

God...

Really?

Your kids require being scared at a movie from time to time. It's part of BEING A KID! Goddam-

-No. I'll just stop right now. I'm not reviewing Where The Wild Things Are, here. I'm just venting my feelings about hyper-sensitive, over-protective parents who freak out at any sign of distress (as if distress wasn't something to learn to manage early on)

Here are just a few images from some of the flicks we saw when we were kids:


JESUS CHRIST!


SHIT, I'M UNDER THE COUCH


FUCK YOU, SHOWTIME


You can't see this very well, but ARTEX IS FUCKING DROWNING IN QUICKSAND NO!!!!!


NOW THIS THING, GODDAMMIT. TURN IT OFF!

And nuts to this.

The kids around me settled down, almost immediately, just so you know. They were, most of them, paying rapt attention.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Christopher Plummer Gay Gay Gay

Our friends over at The Playlist noticed a recent announcement about a mysterious new film from director Mike Mills (Thumbsucker) called Beginners, set to star Ewan McGregor and Christopher Plummer. What’s this project about, they wondered? Well, you know how we like to shed light on secret loglines at Movieline, and we do have the script, so here’s the exclusive plot synopsis: McGregor plays a young man rocked by two announcements from his elderly father (Plummer)…one, that he has terminal cancer, and two, that he’s coming out of the closet. The role of Plummer’s handsome younger boyfriend has not yet been cast, but we’re frankly shocked that the famously gay-friendly McGregor (soon to be seen canoodling with Jim Carrey in I Love You Phillip Morris) isn’t playing that part instead. [The Playlist]

(via Movie Line)

Associates of the proprietor have informed me that any and all search engine queries regarding the absolutely unambiguous sexuality of Sir Christopher Plummer are totally fatuous, based upon manipulation, lies and slander, and will be met with severe penalty if you so much as Christopher Plummer gay gay homosexual Christopher Plummer sodomy.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Not BeatPartisan



If you're gonna put your four to the floor, do it like this guy.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Thursday, October 01, 2009

History Lesson

Roger Ebert, finally taking on ToonTown

Normally, I wouldn't do this, but with Ebert's ripostes I could let these loons feed him ripe-for-the-mocking illiteracy all day. Here are my favorite excerpts from the comments:

"The rules that made it perfectly acceptable for even mainstream liberals to say things like "Heil to the Thief," "Idiot-in-Thief," "Commander-in-Thief," and so on? The rules that condoned accusing this man of lying to get this country into a war for oil--accusing him of sending thousands of our best citizens to their deaths, and far more thousands of citizens of another country to their deaths, all while allegedly knowing full well that no one was going to find any WMDs?"

Ebert: Was the 2000 election stolen? Did Bush lie to get us into war? Did Bush violate the Constitution?

Yes.


"I have lost count of the Liberal Pundits who described Bush and Cheney as Murdering (Iraq), Racist (Katrina), Thieves (2000 & 2004 Elections)."

Ebert: Thieves for sure.


"Ebert: Thieves for sure.

I am sorry but that also is a lie perpetuated by the left. There are many lies on the left and right.
"

Ebert: Explain to me how and why Bush won the 2000 election.

"Who is into conspiracy theories now?"

Ebert: What is it about the 2000 election you don't understand?

"I wasn't that upset by the Bush protests, and after the left went there with hitler and whatever I SURE don't care about it with the current idiot president."

Ebert: An idiot? What word would you use for Bush?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

ROAR GRR GROWL

The best America can do is to treat Iran the way it treated South Africa or Communist Eastern Europe, building an international consensus among democracies on isolating them while offering an olive branch to keep local populations yearning for change. Already, America's recent conciliatory stance on Iran, and Iran's aggressive responses, have put us in a stronger diplomatic position. The question is whether Americans can muster the patience to support this kind of policy, or whether we will view it as "weak". The policy itself—isolation, containment, deterrence, offers of friendship if freedom breaks out—is little different from the way America treated the Soviet bloc in the 1980s; Ronald Reagan never called for air strikes on Poland. But in the current political alignment, the temptation for the opposition to slam the president for "losing Iran" if sanctions don't produce quick results may be too strong to resist.

- GAH

Look, either put your money where your mouth is, or shut up, hawks. Either say that you're willing to start World War III, or get off it. Either admit that you'd be fine with the untold number of U.S. Army (and Iranian civilian) casualties we'd incur if we were actually willing to follow through with your implications, or shove it down your war-holes. Weak, my ass. Suit up or SHUT THE FUCK UP, GODDAMMIT. How are we going to afford this aggression anyway? Take healthcare reform and multiply that times a billion and it would roughly be the cost of occupying Afghanistan, Iraq, AND IRAN. And what's more, some of you know that. I'm so sick of hearing this. Growling and waving your dick at a perceived threat is not a way to achieve nuclear surrender. MORONS.

Monday, September 28, 2009

...ye...YEAH

Superlative journalism:

Happy Yom Kippur

My opener from last night's set:


Sha! Shtil!
Shhh! Quiet!

Khor

Sha shtil, makh nit keyn gerider,
Shhh! Quiet, make no noise,

Der rebe geyt shoyn tantsn vider.
The rabbi is going to dance again.

Sha shtil, makh nit keyn gevald,
Be quiet, make no commotion,

Der rebe geyt shoyn tantsn bald.
The rabbi is going to dance soon.

Un az der rebe tantst,
And when the rabbi dances,

Tantsn dokh di vent,
The walls dance with him,

Lomir ale plyeskn mit di hent!
Let's all clap our hands!

Khor

Un az der rebe tantst,
And when the rabbi dances,

Tantst dokh mit der tish,
The table dances along,

Lomir ale tupn mit di fis!
Let's all stamp our feet!

Khor

Un az der rebe zingt dem heylikn nign,
And when the rabbi sings the holy nign,

blaybt der sotn
The evil one remains

a toyter lign.
lying dead.

Hey khsidim,
Hey everybody,

Der rebe geyt shoyn tantsn.
The rabbi is going to dance already.

Hey khsidim,
Hey everybody,

Der rebe geyt shoyn tantsn bald!
The rabbi is going to dance right away!

No, seriously.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tom Delay Danced The Gay Out Of Me

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That's right, after seeing this, I promptly traded in my sexuality for a copy of A Room of One's Own. Are you happy, GOP?!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Not Gonna Teach Ya

Two of the best producers in the world hail from Brazil and have a bio you can check here.

The Twelves have just now released a set I'm still absorbing, but it's damned good. It features remixes or reworks of Radiohead, Black Kids, Fever Ray, etc., that are very much worth noting (it's also worth noting that no one on this planet remixes Radiohead better, proof of that here).

At a time when Deejaying has become more digitized, removing certain limitations that might actually make most sets better, The Twelves use the technology as an instrument where others use the instrument as technology. The result is classic disco. Enjoy:

The Twelfth Hour - The Twelves



Methusalem - Robotism
Groove Armada - Drop The Tough (The Twelves Remix)
Glass Candy - Miss Broadway
Daft Punk - Da Funk
DJ Agent 86 - Wavestate
Gossip - Standing in the Way of Control
Gaz Nevada - I-C Love Affair
Phoenix - Lisztomania
Arpadys - Mystery Rock (Vlad Maywad edit)
The Do - On My Shoulders
Zoot Woman - Information First
The Jacksons - Shake your Body
Mr Oizo - Two Takes It
Bushy - Sqezy Soul
Zeigeist - Humanitarianism (The Twelves Remix)
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Sensual Seduction
Juan Maclean - No Time
DJ Agent 86 - Magic
K.I.D. - Hupendi Musiki
Franz Ferdinand - Ulysses
Siriusmo - Discoding
Dan Hartman - Vertigo / Relight my Fire
Air - Sexy Boy
Fever Ray - Seven (The Twelves Remix)
Pacific - Hot Lips (The Twelves Remix)
Patrick Alavi - Power
Dynasty - I Dont Wanna be a Freak
Metronomy - Radio Ladio
Siriusmo - Last Dear
Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
Elitechnique - Spectral Escape
The Virgins - Rich Girls
Black Kids - ...Dance With You (The Twelves Remake)
The Juan Maclean - Happy House
M.I.A. - Boyz
Cut Copy - So Haunted
Space - Magic Fly
PNAU - With You Forever
Eddie Tour - Up The Glitter
Mr. Oizo - Hun
Cerrone - Give Me Love
Mr. Oizo - Steroids (ft. Uffie)
Tiga - Shoes
Kano - It's a War
Daft Punk - Revolution 909
Radiohead - Scatterbrain (The Twelves Remix)
Terry Poison - Comme Ci Comme Ça (The Twelves Remix)
Sebastien Tellier - Sexual Sportswear
Chemical Brothers - It Doesn't
Matter
Database vs. French Horn Rebellion - Beaches and Friends (The Twelves Remix)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Thursday, September 17, 2009

39



You're an actual Christian, Mr. President. It offends them.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Atlas Tugged

...Rand spent her first months in this country subsisting on loans from relatives in Chicago, which she promised to repay lavishly when she struck it rich. (She reneged, never speaking to her Chicago family again.) She also enjoyed the great fortune of breaking into Hollywood at the moment it was exploding in size, and of bumping into DeMille. Many writers equal to her in their talents never got the chance to develop their abilities. That was not because they were bad or delinquent people. They were merely the victims of the commonplace phenomenon that Bernard Williams described as "moral luck."

LOANS?!! Miss Pull-Yourself-Up-From-Your-Own-Communized-Bootstraps? What will your legions say when they hear that? I'm guessing they just WON'T hear that.

From this excellent piece on Ayn Rand.

I'm especially fond of the way Rand used the tools of soviet propaganda to create a movement equally fascistic. I wish I could have lucked into a gig writing adolescent, redundant prose, venerating myself to libertarian nitwits for an eternity. I also like the part where she couldn't get laid until her cult got up and running, and then, imagine that, looks didn't matter.

And that cult is still alive and well today. Christ, and I say this objectively, her books are unbelievable trash.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Send the Injuns Back to Africa

...if there had in fact been 2 million protesters in Washington yesterday, there would have been no need to lie about it -- the magnitude of the protests would have been self-evident. I was in Washington for the inauguration, an event at which there really were almost 2 million people present -- and let me tell you, it was a Holy Mess. Hotels, charging double or treble their usual rates, were booked weeks in advance. Major stations on the Metro system were shut down for hours at a time. The National Guard was brought in. At least 3,000 people got stuck in a tunnel. Essentially the entirely of the National Mall, from the Capitol to the Washington Monument, was dotted with onlookers. Heaps of trash were left behind. The entire city was basically a warzone for a period of about 20 hours, from midnight through mid-evening.

- Nate Silver, debunking the ridiculous claim of 2 million tea-party protesters in April

I don't have a problem with seeing numerous reports filled with pictures of racist, stupid signs, and videos of walking, talking mouth-breathing Beckazoid illiterates shambling across the D.C. mall, contributing to the decline in the Republican party's national digits. I don't get upset because these people currently represent a scintilla of our population.

We've always had them, though. Look:



The more things change....



The only time I've gotten mad about it in the past few months was the whole Education Speech debacle. The average American should have more common sense than that, but not below the Mason-Dixon, apparently.

I wish these people would just eschew the word socialism altogether, the actual meaning of which will always escape them. Just use the real words, the real epithets you'd like to use, is all I'd ask.

And as for us lefties, center-lefties, moderates, center-righties, Americans otherwise still nestled cortex-ally within the stubborn grasp of reason, let's not blow this out of proportion, either. Yes, it would be disastrous if these people took congress in a year. But they're not serious people. Their reaction is animal, not rational. It's no different than when actual animals sense an earthquake coming. They know they've lost, and lost big, and they know it instinctively. Aside from it being their right to protest, however insanely, against the president, this may also be a cathartic platform through which some of this old-timey venom and violence might purge itself off, if only by a fraction.

Lost Gospel

Slide on back to 2002, where breaks are at the very height of their power and influence over the collective techno-sphere, and I'm at the center of that vortex, absorbing and downloading all the best of this music I can find. I have so much good, diverse, interesting stuff, I reject an entirely worthy side B of a mixtape, in favor of a more bangin' one.

The result was The Gospel of Subsonic Funk. Used to be, I had forty-five minutes on both sides of each tape, and I would make side A my main-floor and side B my head-scratchy, weird side.

That was what I thought this mix was, but turns out, it has a few really nice breaks tracks from the time, and I found it, recently, backed up with my other sets. Viddy:

Apocryphal Mix



By all means, head on to the Droid-Rock Show and download it. You know the drill. Much respect to Steve Bug and DJ-T's Monsterbaze, a track so huge I'm tempted to throw it back into rotation nearly a decade later. We heard Adam Freeland play it in Nashville in 2001 and it made the crowd stop dancing. Stopped dancing because they were so unbelievably mind-blown by it they had to just take it in.


13. Ananda Ghost - Idol (Dark Globe Mix)

14. Raze - Break 4 Love (Future Funk Squad Mix)

15. Sonic Animation - I'm Afraid I Think I'm Human (Nubreed vs Phil K mix)

16. David James - A Permanent State (Waveform mix)

17. Steve Bug Vs DJ-T - Monsterbaze

18. Bushwacka! - Butterfly

19. Banca De Gaia - Obsidian (The Light Vs. Proper Filthy Naughty mix)

20. Planet Funk - Inside All The People (Lee Coombs Dub)

21. Quinn Whalley - Crack Whore

Monday, September 14, 2009

Herzog FAIL....

...or Herzog WIN?

I'm going to go with probable win, because there's nothing more interesting than the prospect of a truly successful Nic Cage-Is-Batshit-Crazy-Film:


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Timely

Zoot Woman just dropped this during Alex Metric show:

One Honest Term

This has been a long time in the making. Even more striking to me than that, really, is that non-response rebuttals like this one and a ditto-populace undermined compassionate public service for so many years. What was it about Reagan's response here that sounded so authentic? Wish I knew. It's about as monosyllabic as Joe Wilson's moron-spasm last night, really.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Have a Beer With Hellboy

Adam Savage (half of Mythbusters duo) did one of my favorite panels at DCon. The first half was one hundred things he'd like to do:



There's at least one more of these. Clicky clicky.

HAIL!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Johannesburg Slaughter

My problem with E.T., and I think it would be a better film, are those big Walter Keane moonstone eyes, because you immediately love that little creature. There’s a moment in the film when they’re dissecting the frogs and they do a close-up of the frogs with those alien slit eyes. Now if E.T. had those eyes, then he’s a really grotesque ugly thing and the kid has to learn to love a grotesque ugly thing. It’s easy to love E.T. It should have been difficult to love E.T.

- Terry Gilliam

Neill Blomkamp's District 9 is definitely made in that spirit. It's like riding on a thoroughfare that takes you from Hotel Rwanda to Cronenberg. It is unbelievably brutal, or at least its level of violence and grotesquerie surprised me until I thought about the producer, Peter Jackson, and his earlier films.

The creatures are only half-heartedly anthropomorphized, and the nepotist hero goes from nebbish to fighter-boy without much time for a consistent transition between (though his transition is certainly a bodily one). It is overlong, and far too uncompromising to have grossed as much as it has.

And we should all be thankful to Peter Jackson for introducing such a talented new filmmaker to the world. This is simply the best and most riveting science fiction film in years, so long as you have the stomach for it.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Friday, August 28, 2009

Road Warriors

On the way to Cali to steer Holly's worldlies back to the southeastern United Ess of Ay tonight, and my musical itinerary for the duration is:

The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

Chuck - Bucket of Fuckin' D'n'B

Alex Metric BBC Radio one July mix

Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood

Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion

Fake Blood -Fix Your Accent

Gary Numan - The Pleasure Principle

Passion Pit - Manners

David Sedaris - Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim

1776 - David McCullough

Party on, Dudes.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Say Auf Wiedersehen To Your Nazi Review

The problem is that by making the star attraction of his latest film a most delightful Nazi, one whose smooth talk is as lovingly presented as his murderous violence, Mr. Tarantino has polluted that love.

- Manohla Dargis's Review

Yes, because Iago, Humbert Humbert, Anton Chigurh, Cruella Deville, etc., were all presented without comment, so as to justify, respectively, framing a woman for adultery, entering into congress with a twelve year old, murdering everything in sight based on an arbitration, or attempting to skin puppies for a coat.

Film naturally sensationalizes, because, in the hands of a master, all actions become sensational. To quote another film review:

Rear Window is not about Greenwich Village, it is a film about cinema, and I DO know cinema - Francois Truffaut.

So does Tarantino.

Dargis is a moralist, not a film critic.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Ebert For Secretary of Saying Things Better

I was informed that my entry was "typical liberalism." This is correct. I am a liberal. If you are a conservative, this appears to be a difference between us: I think you should have guaranteed health insurance.

Article Here

Oh, 1999, I Love You Most of All

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Glimpse Into an Alex Metric Show....



Will he come to the states, i.e., not just NY or L.A.?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

... and Rice Crispie Treats

Been spinning these monthly events this summer at J.J.'s Bohemia, with a crew goes by Computers & Friends.

While there are those parties wholly satisfied with and only with the metronome, these boyos have fully embraced the broken beat (just in time me hopes for a prime and tasty Halloween mix, the most perfect time of year for the evilist of beats).

I'll try and get some of their sets online here if I can, but for now, I'll come out of internets-mixin'-sabbatical and offer you my June 28th show:

But of course, download here at the Droid-Rock show. Right click, ctrl click, whatever you gotta do.

What, you won't click? Fine, here's a tracklist:

1. Capricorn - 9 Nickel (Kevin Beber & Waveform)
2. Landlines - Shadow Dancer
3. Samo Ti (AC Slater mix) - Fagget Fairys
4. Starter - Boys Noize
5. The Night - Evil Nine
6. Riverside - Sidney Samson
7. A City Under Siege - Boy 8-Bit
8. I Love U (Bart B More mix) - Larry Tee
9. Shirley You Can't Be Serious? - Alex Metric
10. Machine In The Ghost (Djedjotronic mix) - The Faint
11. Shifting Gears (Stanton Warriors mix) - Plump DJs
12. Lovesick (Evil Nine mix) - Friendly Fires

Now That's Some Deejayin'



There are those of you who'd be advised to wait about 4:30 in....

Minute 2:38, Wait for It, aaaand SCENE



(Minute 5:10 ain't bad either. Are Democrats more civilized in their approach to debate? Do you hear screaming and yelling and anger here? This appears to be a group of people in agreement about something, such as with the angry town-hallers. Why is this scene so different?)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Not Gonna Shy Away From Things That Are Uncomfortable

The message is simple, that your message will not get through. I've been criticized in the past for being too loud at certain points. But am I shouting anyone down? Am I showing up to disrupt debate, or seeking to engage it? I'm not really interested in arguing that point right now, but I am interested in showcasing one of the durable strengths of our president, his parity, his decency, and his willingness to stick to a position while expressing empathy (yes, empathy) for the other side.

We need him to get healthcare and the Afghan/Iraq wars right along with every other nightmare we're currently grappling with. But we also desperately need this voice to cut through the din:

Monday, August 10, 2009

#DouthatFail

From Ross Douthat's column today:

Don’t laugh. No contemporary figure has done more than Apatow, the 41-year-old auteur of gross-out comedies, to rebrand social conservatism for a younger generation that associates it primarily with priggishness and puritanism. No recent movie has made the case for abortion look as self-evidently awful as “Knocked Up,” Apatow’s 2007 keep-the-baby farce. No movie has made saving — and saving, and saving — your virginity seem as enviable as “The 40-Year Old Virgin,” whose closing segue into connubial bliss played like an infomercial for True Love Waits.

Don't laugh. DON'T LAUGH? How do I not LAUGH at the notion that there's anything enviable about Steve Carrell's character in The 40-Year Old Virgin? Is Douthat saying that social conservatives really think the best way to get through life is to stay trapped with the emotional maturity level of a teenager until further notice? Well, going by the behavior of the Christian Right and arch-conservatives, I wouldn't doubt it. Just watch a video of any of these crashed town-hall meetings. Some folks need to get laid.

As for the notion that Knocked Up (the most incoherent movie Apatow has made) is political in any way, I have a fulmination, based solely on a common misconception pro-lifer's have about anyone who supports abortion rights. Why does the right assume that those of us on this side (for reasons ranging from privacy to women's rights) are all so gung ho about the act of abortion itself? What kind of movie does Ross, et al think Knocked Up would've been if its principals decided to have an abortion instead? It would've had a different title and running time, and would've been based on an Ernest Hemingway short story.

After having seen Funny People this weekend, I can assure you, Apatow's concern is an apolitical one. He improvises his way through plots that render themselves irrelevant by their basic absurdity. He's actually a master at improvisation, which paradoxically forces domestic situations on to wonderful free-form comedy. The first hour and twenty of Funny People is a work of wild, sensitive genius. As for it being conservative on any subconscious level, well, it contains the line (SPOILER): "I want you to wear glasses above your asshole so when I'm fucking you in the ass it looks like you're blowing me."

You decide.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Make Sure It's A Cartoon

This is sad news, particularly considering last summer. Recession cinema is truly the dregs. I wonder if people are able to register much beyond the fact that light and sound are constantly fluctuating around them in the theater.

Between T4, Transformers, G.I. Joe, and the squirrels and the guinea pigs, where are the real movies?

Well:

Up
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Star Trek
Funny People
Bruno (yes, because it's fucking funny)

Sadly, I missed Public Enemies. Will be seeing The Hurt Locker this week.

Last summer I had a better list, even as most critics, by July, were yakking that 2008 was a terrible year for movies. If only they could've seen the summer of 2009.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

For The End

The End FTWWW

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William Jefferson Airplane
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Actual content, written by me, is coming very soon, promise, now scroll to about six minutes into this video.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Librul Medea

The sad truth is that what Olbermann and O'Reilly were doing in this particular instance was one of the rare examples of good journalism on these types of shows. Olbermann was holding O'Reilly's feet to the fire about his repeated falsehoods and embarrassing positions. In turn, O'Reilly was giving the public accurate and disturbing information about General Electric, including extensive technology dealings with Iran. (italics his) In my personal opinion, this was one of the rare useful pieces of information O'Reilly ever presented to his audience, and Olbermann was there to show how lousy the rest of O'Reilly's information was. Though it was in the context of a bitter feud, the two men were actually engaging in real journalism, at least in this case.

This is well worth the read.

I make no apologies for my support of Keith Olbermann in his crusade against O'Reilly and Fox News. I am unimpressed by the whole "he's just a liberal such and such angry commentator, no better than the rest of 'em" argument. I've never heard any such criticism coupled with any real dissection or analysis of any specific point Olbermann has made. Too much work, I guess.

It's certainly true that KO gets ridiculously silly sometimes, and I don't watch all the time, mostly because I don't need a reminder that Rush Limbaugh is a cocksmack. But Fox spews, on a daily and nightly basis, right-wing invective and hate-speech, and Olbermann was doing the right thing in propping up a counter-balance of sanity. I sincerely hope he can continue.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Congressman, Nice Try

Chris Matthews is so, so hilarious:



More here.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Huzzah Jef!

He's rocking a new blog, on subjects firmly embedded in my cerebellum. Na Zdravi.


(Also, I liked Rules of the Game, but most certainly did not understand it. I give mad props for it prefiguring Gosford Park)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

TeeHee

I'm on a BOAT (Flyer)



Facebook yo' self here.

Main event page here.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Asa Nisi Awesome

Can't wait:



(From now on, I guess I either have to switch blogs, learn to code these myself, or just use Trailer Addict, since Youtube clips are getting cropped on the side?)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Fuck Chuck Norris

So, this lost me a Twitter follower the other day. Hold on, I'm not cryin' about that, in and of itself. I tweat to get ideas out there when I can, but I'm generally happy to be following people and not terribly concerned about who's following me (who am I kidding? LOVE. ME.)

What upsets me is the lack of principle on which I was un-followed. The person in question and I have been having this fight for awhile, their position being something akin to "people use political arguments simply to hate each other, and we shouldn't be negative to one another". Yes, and one day we'll all just ride ponies into paradise. Whatever. The argument in question this time applies to more than just my little squabble with a friend.

For those of you who don't know, Chuck Norris posted this last year on Townhall. It more or less calls for "sexual deviants", i.e., gays and lesbians, to be castrated. It's unspeakably vicious right-wing invective. This guy campaigned for Huckabee. If he had made those comments about any other minority group, he wouldn't be allowed within 500 yards of any political campaign. His career would be over. Ask Michael Richards how he's doing lately.

It's a dreary example of our generation's basic un-seriousness that we all know the tired internet meme based on Chuck Norris, but we don't know that he's actually a bigot. Here we have a cultural icon getting away with the most despicable and unacceptable homophobia, but I'm getting un-followed when I break the news to certain people, presumably because an internet fad that got tired in 2004 is more important than gay rights?

Sad. Besides, aside from all that, what exactly is it that Chuck Norris represents culturally? Of course, he manifests the classic American canard that violence solves problems.

To my mind, those jokes will only be funny to you now if after reading this you actively repress the things you've just found out.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Ultimate Franchise

By ultimate, I really wish I meant last.

Michael Bay, however, will not grant us that mercy, not with these numbers. Which means we'll get the same movie again in a couple of years. Actually, it's two movies in one. One movie involves the sub-human inanity of the human characters, their respective dog/robot-humpings, hyper-unrealistic relationships and inhuman experiences (perhaps the next film will feature a Graduate school where the professors are all hot thirty-something babes, inspiring the Beouf to just pluckspaz right out to even greater heights of performance art, completely and totally, until he implodes?)

The other movie on display here is a thoroughly appalling, unexpectedly racist, loud, and completely baffling army ad, featuring giant robots (which transform into vehicles made comical by their own recession-based obsolescence). For all Michael Bay's right-wing war-porn, this is a pretty lame recruitment tool. Just because the dragon fight at the volcano wasn't a successful marketing strategy doesn't mean that Transformers and better special effects will work.

The movie is so sloppy I'd be hard pressed to be offended that Obama has been whisked away to a secret bunker (I'm trying to imagine a Republican president being any more effective than Obama would be against a Decepticon attack. Eight years ago, whither Cheney?).

Still, let Red America have a Transformers flick rather than have the White House, I say.

There' s another movie mixed into that appalling war-ad, and it' s a full-throated Transformers movie, with special effects and battle-sequences that worked better this time around, and are sometimes even breathtaking in their audacity (if sometimes swallowed by their own complexity). There are actually moments of real artistry, with creature effects that really are among the best I've ever seen. I had to sit through a Michael Bay movie to see them, which I won't want to do again unless there's another Transformers movie.

The AV Club has a wonderful breakdown of everything that went wrong, and of course we all read poor Ebert's generous take-down.

The theme that emerges from these reviews is that Michael Bay is far too old to be making this kind of movie. That confuses me a little bit. I sometimes wonder if critics forget who's in charge in Hollywood. I know it's maddening the amount of money this is making, I know it's juvenile, etc. etc. But to expect Michael Bay to grow up? Come on. We need Michael Bay. It's Manichean, really, how much we need him to soldier on, creating Manichean conflicts from the tip of his id. I don't ever want him to grow up. Every couple of years we get dazzled and appalled in equal measure. Behold our bread and circuses! Can we ever out-excess this? The last movie I watched before this one was Through a Glass Darkly. I'll be fine. Besides, ROTF was roughly the same movie last time, minus the minstrel show, and I don't remember this volume of critical fulmination in '07.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Project! Project!

With the new decade approaching, my brain is conspiring with encroaching time to produce a twice-monthly feature here at the Tympani room, starting in August. I'll be revisiting two influential films from 2000-2009, each month, with an eye towards how the filmmakers have defined the decade, for better or worse. Some will be great films, some will not, but the point will be to separate, from films that accomplished something distinctive, all the chaff, and in some cases, evaluate the runners up.

Leading to that, I'll be covering some of the almost-successes and total disasters of the decade. Modus Operandi on the latter will be the three D's: Deracination, Devaluation, and Dudgeon.

In the meantime, expect a handful of DJ mixes at the Droid Rock Show, and various musical trainspottings here, as per usual.

Speaking of, Adam Freeland's band has a new album out. Here's a little tease:

Why Does Roland Emmerich Hate The White House So Much?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Gouranga!

Yes, I'm going to Bonnaroo. No, I don't care that there are hippies there. No, I'm not going to put reams of LSD into my mouth. If I can tolerate the company of the many very special people who frequent my bookstore on a weekly basis, I can tolerate some patchouli stank and a coupla hours of Phish (It'll be my first time hearing them in any format). Trust me, this is a vacation.

More pointedly, I get to see The Beastie Boys this week, along with Al Green, Animal Collective, The Decemberists, The Boss, etc.

Those for whom this post would fall under the category "rubbin' it in": wish you were accompanying us.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Hrm

That last post ended up being the wrong Olbermann, so go back to it here, and watch the right one.

I wouldn't just post random clips of him sniping at Limbaugh. There's enough of that, after all.

Friday, June 05, 2009

OlBURNmann


(Just wait for the last bit)

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Nobody Would Be That Stupid

BURN.

When he's down is precisely the time to kick him. It's the one way to insure that we will very seldom be blighted with "Directed by McG".

Sunday, May 31, 2009

3-Duh

This is an open-ended conversation about 3-D, its efficacy, and its future.

This is Ebert simultaneously praising one technique while reducing another to gimmick status.

He seems to think there is no difference between being distracted by the gimmick of 3-D and being distracted by watching a movie on a screen twelve times the size of a normal one. I have yet to see a feature film on a real IMAX screen, but I'm guessing I'll be aware of its scope just as I was aware very briefly that Coraline was in 3-D. Here's the thing, though: I quickly forgot that Coraline was in 3-D and found myself swiftly accepting the look and feel of the world. It's the most beautiful balance of 3-D and storytelling I've ever seen, to the point where when you do sit up and notice the 3-D again, it's actually kind of a heady thrill, not a cheap distraction. I look forward to seeing Up, tomorrow.

I'm compelled by Ebert's decade-long dissertation on the brilliance of MaxiVision vs. cheaper celluloid and the conversion to digital. I would love to witness this fabled process in action. I'm also with him on the need to run projectors at their brightest settings.

For all that, there's a part of me that thinks the "purity" of the image should not always be a sacrosanct concept. When I was twelve, my brother made dubbed copies of movies he'd taped off HBO and Showtime, including Aliens, Poltergeist, Flatliners, Hellraiser, The Lost Boys, etc. My copy of Ghostbusters and The Neverending Story that my sister made me was also dubbed. These copies were grainy and pan-and-scanned, and they wore out over the years. To this day, that imperfection, that graininess, toyed with my imagination. Of course, movies are artifice. We want a world made differently than the one we're in, sometimes.

It's ok if kids notice the effects in Coraline. Why shouldn't kids learn at some point to be aware of technique, just a little? I don't think every movie should be 3-D, but I do enjoy it when it's done well, just as I enjoy anything that's done well. Where Monsters vs. Aliens was gimmicky 3-D, Coraline was boundary-pushing 3-D, a fantastic utilization of a technique producing a model-box nightmare come-alive. If it seemed to be lit a little darker than a normal movie, that still served its purpose.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Human Condition No Longer Applies To Your Franchise

When McG signed on to direct Salvation, he knew that hardcore fans of the franchise would cry sacrilege. So he decided that he needed the Godfather's blessing. He went down to the set of James Cameron's Avatar, hoping to get a benediction (or at least some advice) from the man who created T1 and T2. But he walked away empty-handed. ''Cameron was very cordial, but he didn't give me his blessing,'' says McG. ''He did tell me, 'I know how you feel. When I directed Aliens, I was following Alien and the mighty Ridley Scott, and people thought, 'Who is this James Cameron? All he's made is Piranha 2!'''

A wide smile spreads across McG's face when he says this. He's not the subtlest guy in the world, and you can tell that he just wants to come right out and say it: Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle is his Piranha 2 and Terminator Salvation will be his Aliens.


-Entertainment Weekly.

That last bit seems to overlook that Cameron followed Piranha 2 with The Terminator, a film made with a small fraction of the Charlie's Angels franchise's budget, but never mind. It's fun to let McG speak for himself. More telling, really, is that the T4 screenplay is by the writers of Catwoman. There was clearly very little Jonathan Nolan could do to fix that, and the mind boggles at trying to pinpoint which scenes or themes he has inserted.

Paul Haggis, Nolan, and other screenwriters reportedly jumped in on a draft of Terminator Salvation (Skynet, apparently, has grammatically terminated the colon). The result is still a formless mass, bereft of dramatic action, free of incident, while being needlessly reflexive of James Cameron's films (T2 and Aliens) and also some boring thunderdome-less Beyond Thunderdome.

That's not to say this is really all that much of a letdown, since this series was dead by the end of T2, or, technically, by the end of the needless T3. The point after which your protagonists have at last failed to stop nuclear destruction is when it's hardest for me to care very much about the fate of John Connor (knowing full well that Kyle Reese will be fine until 1984).

In fact, I care very little about John Connor in general, though I suppose when I was a kid I viewed my T-800 guardian quite happily through the eyes of my on-screen Edward Furlong-surrogate. That was then, though, and it's a curious devolution of these films that they would so casually forget what made them appealing in the first place, their erstwhile protagonist, Sarah Connor. The Alien series remembered its female protagonist ass-kicker until the AvP films, deeming it necessary to clone her back from the dead (while giving her nothing much to do).

Sarah Connor dispatches the first Terminator (with some help from Kyle Reese). In T2, she's buff, deadly, and ruthless about her mission. James Cameron was really very good at creating female warriors. That's no small ingredient to the success of these franchises.

Absent that (and some perfunctory inclusion of a sassy female ass-kicker), the one moment of recognition between Connor and the young Kyle Reese (making the film both sequel and prequel), was effectively built into the premise by Cameron twenty-five years ago.

Either write these films, or don't make 'em. If you get to the point where you need Paul Haggis to save you from screenwriter barnacles latched upon your franchise, you've made the wrong fate for yourself.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Three Non-Stories

1) Obama at Notre Dame controversy: There were anti-war protests wherever George W. Bush went. You cannot, however, be truly pro-life and also support war-starting presidents. On the one hand, you have W., invading nations and overseeing the deaths of thousands, on the other, you have a president not personally responsible for a single abortion that has been carried out since Roe v. Wade. Abortion was legal under Bush, right? Either way, it's not a story. People are allowed to protest, and this has not served to "reignite" the debate. The debate's pretty well ignited.

2) Hate crimes legislation: I don't know what position to take on this, but I do know it's a non-story, in that it probably won't end up protecting a single homosexual. I'm more concerned with our basic human rights being covered by the law than I am with this getting passed. Good thing I didn't learn Arabic and decide to join the army. On the other hand, even though I don't believe in criminalizing our thoughts and motivations, I'm tempted to applaud a temporary edict against terrorizing your fellow Americans based on skin-deep differences. Still, carrying out this law will prove problematic, most likely requiring large cultural support. We're gaining ground. The real story is in the marriage and equality fights.

3)Swine-flu: Biggest non-story in years. To the lady at the bookstore who told me I should wash my hands after every single act: I sure hope your weakened immuno-response doesn't get your dumb-ass killed when you come down with regular flu.

Bonus: I'm not going to berate Republicans for being "the party of no". I'd prefer they be a reasonable and informed opposition, but that's a pipe-dream. Suffice it to say though, I'd have preferred it if the Democrats had been an actual opposition party of some kind over the past eight years. There's plenty to berate Republicans for. Berating them for being in opposition to us is intellectually dishonest.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

To Boldly Whoa

In case you haven't heard, Star Trek, Abramized for your viewing pleasure, is just flawlessly fun. It's the sleekest summer entertainment in years, and stands visor and insignia above the last handful of the franchise's installments.

If you haven't seen it (based on anti-geek prejudices) or somehow haven't heard the buzz, get ye into a proper seat, avoid false IMAXes, and get ready to smile. ('Course, by now you probably have seen it)

One thing I have to ardently disagree with is that the film "reboots" the series. Not true. Yes, it's a new take, but so was The Next Generation, and their film also included a crossover between two casts. This is a full-blooded Star Trek movie. We could have a whole new generation of Star Trek shows and fans, and the best part of it all is the high concentration of love for and recognition of the original series, in the new film.

Many shows of our era, certainly any that hinge upon a group of professionals, bonded in mutual respect and love for each other, owe much to Star Trek. Sorkin's work would've been unthinkable without it.

Weird to be saying this, but Abrams and his crew put this into context for me: Our era needs Star Trek, needs it done right, and needs it completely showing off its true, whole heart. Deep down, it's always been less about starships, pseudo-science and space battles, and more about friendship and discovery. Any Star Trek entry that sidestepped that has done so to its detriment.

We've got it now, though. And the next movie stands a chance of being truly, memorably great.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Ear Tasties

ANIMAL COLLECTIVE "MY GIRLS" HD from KNOWMORE on Vimeo.



More psychedelia:

2009 Borderline from George Salisbury on Vimeo.

Get To It

Visit msnbc.com for Knobs, Outrage, and TITS!



You ain't Bill Clinton. You're better. Fix this.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Drinking To Forget

He is about 175 years old, he apparently stopped changing when he reached Hugh Jackman's age, and neither he, nor we, find out how he developed such an interesting mutation.

-Ebert

The rest of his review is about like that. Ebert completely rejects Wolverine as a character. More to the point, his heart and mind apparently can't comprehend the X-Men. Mutants are simply mutants. We don't concern ourselves with the how and why. Their powers are revealed to them through the course of puberty. Our curiosity was not that he had claws, but that they were made of adamantium.

In any case, Wolverine is best left alone. He winds up joining the X-Men in the midst of a multiple-year amnesia bender, unaware of how he got his shiny new bones. Why anyone ever wanted to spoil that wonderful premise with an explanation, I could never figure out. Thankfully, you won't remember much of Gavin Hood's sloppy follow-up to X3, since the final act works as its own adamantium bullet to your brain.

The various bits of angst levelled at Wolverine, in direct conflict with those 13 year-olds and 13 year-olds-at-heart who seemed to genuinely enjoy the flick, are not feelings I'm able to match. It's a better film than, oh, Fantastic Four 1 & 2, Ghostrider, X-3, Spider-Man 3, Daredevil, Elektra, etc. Spider-Man 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2, Iron Man and The Hulk, were all, well, quite good movies. The badness of some of the other Marvel properties only underlines that.

Should Wolverine have been better? My God, yes. Still, I'm not angry, but I look forward to Holly's review. Her reaction snapped me out of a complacent stupor.

Because, folks, much of the movie is pretty bad. I got through it rolling my eyes here and there, but, not expecting much to begin with, had what fun I could.

The bad: There is dialogue and incident that resorts at every possible turn to cliche. There are many moments you will see coming from eight plot points away. For all of Ebert's fawning over Gavin Hood's previous flicks, Hood's other work is no less maudlin. Hood peppers this film with half-sketched themes of imperialism and social injustice. The script he's relying on doesn't really justify his exploration of those issues, but perhaps we can be thankful a Wolverine flick doesn't become Tsotsi with claws.

If you're expecting darkness akin to the new Batman series or the kind of humor we saw in previous X-Men or Spider-Man movies (pre third installments), get ready to be disappointed. Wolverine is portentous when it should be light and corny when it should be earnest. It wastes Gambit, and completely ruins our expectations for Deadpool. Perhaps there hasn't been enough distance between this and the previous X-Men film. A complete reboot was probably our only hope, and by that point Hugh Jackman would've aged more noticeably than Wolverine ever would.

There is good in the film, though: Will i Am has his moments. Dominic Monaghan has a nice, brief bit of screen time as an electricity manipulator. Ryan Reynolds is more enjoyable than I've ever seen him as the mutant who becomes Deadpool. Danny Huston is more reliable than the movie deserves. Some of the action scenes are fun, financial-cut-corners and cheap special effects notwithstanding.

Then there's Liev Schreiber, furious, fearsome and engaging, the whole way through. His Sabretooth is the one durable character in the film. I wanted more of him, par for the course with Schreiber characters. Jackman is fine, but he's given too much camp and too little gravitas to inhabit here. Too bad, but again, why did we even need this movie?

Monday, May 04, 2009

Irony? Lost on Conservatives?

I was about to voice my wariness of Olbermann shedding light on this development, until I remembered he's blocked in most conservative households.